if your dh accused you of doing nothing but sitting at the computer all day....

[milknosugar]

would you take it as a challenge? i mean, if he thinks that anyway then why shouldnt i?

so today i have not washed up, hung the washing out, made nutritious tea for kids (they had pizza, v pleased), swept floor, tidied up etc etc. i did go shopping as we were out of food but i didnt buy anything for him. the house is a tip. he is not v happy. i am wondering how long i can/should keep it up for

its not the first time he has said it btw, and its not true. he tends to come home when kids are having tea so i sit in same room and browse web.

when is he due in?

he has been in and gone out again, kids are brushing teeth so i am on my own ignoring the pile of washing up

Hmm. I actively "pretend" to do other stuff by having a frenzy of activity before he comes home !

Well I would keep it up, let him see what happens when you actually don't do anything and spend all day on the computer.
He might eat his words then

Lol
try to keep it up as long as you can, until you get an abject apology!

to clarify - the house is usually fairly tidy when he comes in. i have usually done all the stuff i am currently ignoring. he just had a go because when he comes in i am looking at the computer. really he just said it to be an arse, but i am willing to call his bluff this time.

Lol, well done.

I am like HaventSlept, I ditter about all day, then spend the hour before he comes home rushing about.

Spent 2 1/2 hours out in the courtyard with my friends drinking coffee today (and supervising the DCs of course).

wish i dared do that but i tend to have a mad frenzy just before he gets in and make it look as if i have done loads too - but then i do do loads too!!

Tomorrow do absolutely nothing other than feed and wash/shower/bath yourself and your children. Comfort them if they have hurt themselves, break up fights etc. Change nappies if dcs still in nappies. Clean up any wounds. Talk to dcs and play with them for a while. This is the minimum.

Do not pick anything up off the floor, do not do any washing, shopping or cleaning.

Leave everything exactly where it gets left by anyone else in your family, including DH, even if it means stepping over it all day (it is permitted for you to put anything you personally have used away, if you have time, as you go along).

When he gets home and asks you what you have done tell him your children are safe, fws, clean and happy. What more exactly does he want for free?

I agree with eekamoose .. a great plan of action!

good, glad ianbu. will see how long i last. am happy to do stuff he cant see, like playing with kids (infact that might make bigger mess so even better) but feel unappreciated and would like to make a point.

has anyone on here set up a sahm union i can join?

if my dh said that... he'd be not far of the mark

I'd still clobber him though!

Just make sure that he tidies everything up once you have made your point

This is so unfair, but they only ever see the stuff you haven't done, they never notice the stuff you have. I wrote a list of the things I did but that didn't work, he thought I made half of it up. So downing-tools should teach him that you don't actually sit on your behind all day. Good for you. Don't take that nonsense. He does not employ you by the hour!

Milknosugar - Good on you for making a stand!!

My DH came home on Friday and asked what I'd been doing all week as I had'nt hoovered.

For the record, I have a 5WO baby, am alone all week and the house was actually tidy - I was amazed I'd done so well!!!

That sounds about right YCBS. It's enough to make you spit feathers, honestly. You did do well. We all do well. Why do they think their opinion is so blardy important, that's what I want to know?

So, how's it going? Still on strike?

brilliant milknosugar! yeah, you still on strike?? lol

he apologised last night. but he didnt mean it. i buckled this morning because the place was so disgusting i couldnt cope any more. i was suffering more than he was, which wasnt the point!

so i am now on more of a go slow. i am going to do stuff, but only what i want to do. which will not involve his washing or going out to buy stuff he wants etc etc. i have decided that for too long now i have been trying to do stuff to please him and as a result not having the time/money/energy to please myself. and he doesnt even notice it any more. like someone else sid they dont see what we do, only what we dont do. still really really angry with him, but i think he thinks everything is ok now cos the house is clean again. only reason i havent said anything is cos kids are up. so will let you know how long it takes for him to notice the go slow!

nice to have the mn support behind me