Have been seeing a woman for 9 months. She was widowed 10 years ago, and 8 years ago had a sexual relationship with someone who had been a friend for 30+ years (he was friends with her and her late husband). She ended that and said it was a mistake (the sexual side lasted less than a year) but they remained friends. Next month she is travelling to the city where he lives, and she is planning a one-on-one lunch at a nice restaurant with him. I do trust her - she assures me that are just friends now - but she hasn't told him about me.
- That bothers me - she told, and I have met, most all her other friends and family. She says she will tell him when she sees him in person. If it's not an issue and he is not interested in a relationship with her anymore, either, why does it have to be in person?
- I am not comfortable with her having one-on-one intimate time with a former lover. That probably sounds immature on my part but it is what it is.
She can't see my point at all, and logically I can see I am being silly...but feelings aren't all about logic, are they?
I would not have a one-on-one dinner with an ex even if we remained friends. I do have female friends with whom I have not slept - tennis friends, for example, and sometimes we will eat dinner alone - but to me a line is crossed once sex happens.
I don't think either of us is right / wrong - i think we have mis-matched boundaries.
What thinks everyone else?