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Original poster

How to meet nice 40s to 50s women

194 replies

GeorgeA12 · 26/04/2026 11:55

Been a single dad for 15 years, worked hard and juggled to keep everything together. Daughter is going off to uni this year.

Thought it would be nice to meet someone again as will have more time for a relationship now. Looking for something meaningful. I'm 51, fit, tall, in good shape, good job but where do you start? I've tried OLD but it's always a nightmare! Any advice appreciated!

Thread title updated by MNHQ on OP's request

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 26/04/2026 15:33

moderate · 26/04/2026 15:19

Or between a 61yo and a 64yo.
Or between a 64yo and a 67yo.
Or between a 67yo and a 70yo…

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sorites_paradox

Show quote history

Exactly. He might be missing out on some wonderful women by having such fixed parameters. Better to expand the pool and see who you click with.

moderate · 26/04/2026 15:35

WallaceinAnderland · 26/04/2026 15:33

Exactly. He might be missing out on some wonderful women by having such fixed parameters. Better to expand the pool and see who you click with.

Show quote history

“Exactly”

No, you’ve completely missed the point. Do you need me to go from 70 to 73 to 76 to 79 to 82 to 85 to 88 to 91 to 94 to 97 to 100 to drive it home?

WallaceinAnderland · 26/04/2026 15:40

moderate · 26/04/2026 15:35

“Exactly”

No, you’ve completely missed the point. Do you need me to go from 70 to 73 to 76 to 79 to 82 to 85 to 88 to 91 to 94 to 97 to 100 to drive it home?

Show quote history

Drive what home? He's restricting his age range which is fine if that's what he truly wants but I'm just pointing out that he might be missing out.

Some women in their 60s are much more active and fitter than some women in their 50s. It's not all about age all of the time. If he expands that range, he has the chance to meet more people. Even if they just end up being friends, it opens up new circle of friends and he might even meet 'the one' that way.

Original poster
GeorgeA12 · 26/04/2026 15:50

Im up near Dundee, so I think the pool of people for OLD is obviously a lot smaller here than down in London say. Yes a bad start but getting some good advice and support now 😊

OP posts:
Thankyouitwasdelicious · 26/04/2026 15:55

GeorgeA12 · 26/04/2026 15:50

Im up near Dundee, so I think the pool of people for OLD is obviously a lot smaller here than down in London say. Yes a bad start but getting some good advice and support now 😊

Volunteer/go to events at the V&A Dundee.

WildGarden · 26/04/2026 15:57

What are your hobbies and interests OP?
You're much more likely to meet likeminded people at events geared towards your own interests.

RavenT · 26/04/2026 16:00

OP if you've been a single dad for 15 years and have balanced that with FT work, you've probably lost sight a bit of what you're into outside of all this, what you enjoy, how you wish to go once your children leave home etc. I think that probably takes time to discover this too, but hopefully once you get there, through these new interests, you will broaden your network and have a better chance of finding a potential partner.

I've been a lone parent for 13 years, busy balancing all that entails with working, running a house, making all the decisions etc. As my son gets older, I realise his dependency on me is lessening and the thought of what I will do when that happens is a little overwhelming. I've been so busy (and largely happy being a single parent) that figuring out stuff for me again is going to be difficult!

Lots of luck!

DoesthislookgoodOnMe · 26/04/2026 16:01

Park run , walk and talk groups and volunteering are all good. Or sometimes there are dating social events. I hope you meet someone that makes you happy. I don’t agree with all the hate on this post to be honest. You’ve been a full time parent and a lot of us are lone parents so it’s just about discovering yourself again and finding a bit of joy.

CoralOP · 26/04/2026 16:02

Well fuck me, I learn something new everyday on mumsnet, apparently I'm supposed to be offended by being called a female instead of a woman. Noted, I'll add that to the never ending list people on here get offended at!

Original poster
GeorgeA12 · 26/04/2026 16:03

@RavenT Thanks - yes this is exactly the same for me. Ive never really thought about dating too much but my daughter is leaving for uni so would be good to have some company again.

OP posts:
FateAmenableToChange · 26/04/2026 16:08

This isn’t a dating site George, in fact I’m tempted to say it’s the opposite if such a thing is a thing. An eat men for breakfast site 😆 Jokes aside, off you pop to tinder or hinge and work through the dross like everyone else. There are some OLD threads here though you might find helpful, dating strategy is a thing. My advice is be yourself, best way to find someone who actually likes you for you.

moderate · 26/04/2026 16:10

WallaceinAnderland · 26/04/2026 15:40

Drive what home? He's restricting his age range which is fine if that's what he truly wants but I'm just pointing out that he might be missing out.

Some women in their 60s are much more active and fitter than some women in their 50s. It's not all about age all of the time. If he expands that range, he has the chance to meet more people. Even if they just end up being friends, it opens up new circle of friends and he might even meet 'the one' that way.

Show quote history

To drive the point home. The one you missed.

Thatsthebottomline · 26/04/2026 16:15

GeorgeA12 · 26/04/2026 12:24

Ok I can't edit the title. My apologies for the terminology. I was not trying to cause any offence, just followed another female posters title.

It's a big mistake following a female posters thread. They are full of tales of abject woe that in their 50s they can find Jack Reacher who just happens to to be a multi millionaire and has never aged over 35.

I've so far come up with a checklist your going to need.

  1. "Reasonably fit" is not for enough. You need to be able to smash things up in pubs and "take it outside' with the bloke who's eyeing up "me bird". She needs to able eat her chips as all five chins wobble excitedly as you put him in A & E.
  2. Baseball caps are compulsory. Oh, and sitting upstairs on the back of buses.
  3. Your going to need a lot of money. Naturally women believe in equal rights which is why it's always upto you to pay.
  4. Heights is a deal breaker. You need to be well over six foot just to get any date at all.
  5. You need to shave all your hair off so you look as intimidating as possible.
  6. Remember, big is beautiful in a women, but big in a man "is a red flag"
  7. Being able to sing well is a bonus, as is a multi year record deal and a platinum selling album that you wrote "on a gap year". However good you are its always important to remember that any women is better than you, especially after two bottles.of red wine.
  8. Your behaviour should be loud when in public places. You should aim to be the tallest, richest and loudest of the group your with. Feel free to lie liberally about who you've laid out after 8 pints of Fosters.
  1. Your intelligence doesn't matter that much. If your not sure about something just pretend you do, making sure to add plenty of swear words so you can prove how hard you are.

Oh and aim low......keep going.....and going.....and going, and before you know it youll decide that its not worth your time or effort.

Iatethelastbiscuit · 26/04/2026 16:16

WallaceinAnderland · 26/04/2026 15:40

Drive what home? He's restricting his age range which is fine if that's what he truly wants but I'm just pointing out that he might be missing out.

Some women in their 60s are much more active and fitter than some women in their 50s. It's not all about age all of the time. If he expands that range, he has the chance to meet more people. Even if they just end up being friends, it opens up new circle of friends and he might even meet 'the one' that way.

Show quote history

I think it’s perfectly reasonable that a 51-year-old wouldn’t want to date someone in their 60s. That’s a 10+ year age gap. I’m 40 and I couldn’t see myself dating anyone over 45. I’d never say never obviously and at the end of the day it’s about the person, but in general I’d prefer someone my age or younger (although not by more than about 8 years) and I’m a woman. I don’t think I’m ‘entitled’ to it and I’d totally understand if a 32-year-old wasn’t interested cos they thought I was too old but preferences are preferences and god loves a trier and all that!

Iatethelastbiscuit · 26/04/2026 16:20

Thatsthebottomline · 26/04/2026 16:15

It's a big mistake following a female posters thread. They are full of tales of abject woe that in their 50s they can find Jack Reacher who just happens to to be a multi millionaire and has never aged over 35.

I've so far come up with a checklist your going to need.

  1. "Reasonably fit" is not for enough. You need to be able to smash things up in pubs and "take it outside' with the bloke who's eyeing up "me bird". She needs to able eat her chips as all five chins wobble excitedly as you put him in A & E.
  2. Baseball caps are compulsory. Oh, and sitting upstairs on the back of buses.
  3. Your going to need a lot of money. Naturally women believe in equal rights which is why it's always upto you to pay.
  4. Heights is a deal breaker. You need to be well over six foot just to get any date at all.
  5. You need to shave all your hair off so you look as intimidating as possible.
  6. Remember, big is beautiful in a women, but big in a man "is a red flag"
  7. Being able to sing well is a bonus, as is a multi year record deal and a platinum selling album that you wrote "on a gap year". However good you are its always important to remember that any women is better than you, especially after two bottles.of red wine.
  8. Your behaviour should be loud when in public places. You should aim to be the tallest, richest and loudest of the group your with. Feel free to lie liberally about who you've laid out after 8 pints of Fosters.
  1. Your intelligence doesn't matter that much. If your not sure about something just pretend you do, making sure to add plenty of swear words so you can prove how hard you are.

Oh and aim low......keep going.....and going.....and going, and before you know it youll decide that its not worth your time or effort.

Edited
Show quote history

What are you on about?…

Original poster
GeorgeA12 · 26/04/2026 16:22

No not 61. I think mid 50s might be the oldest to date.

OP posts:
KatyaKanani · 26/04/2026 16:24

GeorgeA12 · 26/04/2026 12:05

Well recently met a woman from OLD and unfortunately her pics where misrepresentative. Spent time and money to meet so was a dussapointment.

"misrepresentative" 😂
Do tell in what way? 😁

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 26/04/2026 16:24

Thatsthebottomline · 26/04/2026 16:15

It's a big mistake following a female posters thread. They are full of tales of abject woe that in their 50s they can find Jack Reacher who just happens to to be a multi millionaire and has never aged over 35.

I've so far come up with a checklist your going to need.

  1. "Reasonably fit" is not for enough. You need to be able to smash things up in pubs and "take it outside' with the bloke who's eyeing up "me bird". She needs to able eat her chips as all five chins wobble excitedly as you put him in A & E.
  2. Baseball caps are compulsory. Oh, and sitting upstairs on the back of buses.
  3. Your going to need a lot of money. Naturally women believe in equal rights which is why it's always upto you to pay.
  4. Heights is a deal breaker. You need to be well over six foot just to get any date at all.
  5. You need to shave all your hair off so you look as intimidating as possible.
  6. Remember, big is beautiful in a women, but big in a man "is a red flag"
  7. Being able to sing well is a bonus, as is a multi year record deal and a platinum selling album that you wrote "on a gap year". However good you are its always important to remember that any women is better than you, especially after two bottles.of red wine.
  8. Your behaviour should be loud when in public places. You should aim to be the tallest, richest and loudest of the group your with. Feel free to lie liberally about who you've laid out after 8 pints of Fosters.
  1. Your intelligence doesn't matter that much. If your not sure about something just pretend you do, making sure to add plenty of swear words so you can prove how hard you are.

Oh and aim low......keep going.....and going.....and going, and before you know it youll decide that its not worth your time or effort.

Edited
Show quote history

WTF are you talking about?

EnjoythemoneyJane · 26/04/2026 16:25

Iatethelastbiscuit · 26/04/2026 14:38

I’m genuinely wondering - why are decent men in their 40s/50s unicorns? (As in, not amazing men who look like Tom Hardy and have their own private jet! But just relatively good-looking, kind men with a decent job) if over 40% of marriages end in divorce nowadays? Shouldn’t that mean there are a fair few decent ones out there who are divorced or between relationships?

Show quote history

Because the men that end up out there are often the ones who were left by their wives and partners for the very reasons that no other woman would want to take them on! Plus they often have an inflated sense of their own appeal and therefore make staggeringly little effort in any regard, and just want a replacement wife to look after them - which no separated or divorced woman I know in her 40s or 50s is remotely interested in doing.

The half-decent exceptions to that are the men who quickly discover they have the option to date much younger if they want to, and many do.

So yeah … reasonably attractive, kind, solvent, fun, emotionally secure men looking for women their own age to have a stable relationship with are pretty much hen’s teeth unfortunately!

EnjoythemoneyJane · 26/04/2026 16:28

Thatsthebottomline · 26/04/2026 16:15

It's a big mistake following a female posters thread. They are full of tales of abject woe that in their 50s they can find Jack Reacher who just happens to to be a multi millionaire and has never aged over 35.

I've so far come up with a checklist your going to need.

  1. "Reasonably fit" is not for enough. You need to be able to smash things up in pubs and "take it outside' with the bloke who's eyeing up "me bird". She needs to able eat her chips as all five chins wobble excitedly as you put him in A & E.
  2. Baseball caps are compulsory. Oh, and sitting upstairs on the back of buses.
  3. Your going to need a lot of money. Naturally women believe in equal rights which is why it's always upto you to pay.
  4. Heights is a deal breaker. You need to be well over six foot just to get any date at all.
  5. You need to shave all your hair off so you look as intimidating as possible.
  6. Remember, big is beautiful in a women, but big in a man "is a red flag"
  7. Being able to sing well is a bonus, as is a multi year record deal and a platinum selling album that you wrote "on a gap year". However good you are its always important to remember that any women is better than you, especially after two bottles.of red wine.
  8. Your behaviour should be loud when in public places. You should aim to be the tallest, richest and loudest of the group your with. Feel free to lie liberally about who you've laid out after 8 pints of Fosters.
  1. Your intelligence doesn't matter that much. If your not sure about something just pretend you do, making sure to add plenty of swear words so you can prove how hard you are.

Oh and aim low......keep going.....and going.....and going, and before you know it youll decide that its not worth your time or effort.

Edited
Show quote history

Hell of a long-winded way to announce to the world that you can’t get a girlfriend, my dude

Thatsthebottomline · 26/04/2026 16:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Iatethelastbiscuit · 26/04/2026 16:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

STILL can’t figure out what you’re on about!

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 26/04/2026 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Are you pissed? Or just a dick?

KatyaKanani · 26/04/2026 16:39

Iatethelastbiscuit · 26/04/2026 16:37

STILL can’t figure out what you’re on about!

Show quote history

You are not alone.

Brightbluesomething · 26/04/2026 16:58

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 26/04/2026 16:39

Are you pissed? Or just a dick?

Show quote history

Could be either, or both.
OP This is why women give up on dating sites. Too many men like him. As long as you use his advice as to what not to do you’ll have half a chance.