Not dating someone who has laddish friends - my husband has many different groups of friends. Some of the ones from his younger years are not particularly to my taste, but it’s not something I would have not married him for.
The lack of respect for women and veneer of respectfulness when it suits them - yes, I agree. A lot of men do this. Even men you would not expect it from.
Peer pressure - yes, it is disappointing. And it is
something my husband struggles with. He was bullied at school (started young, because he wore glasses) and became a bit of a people pleaser due to that, desperate to fit in. It’s something that probably took me point out to him but he does now see it and acknowledge it but it is difficult to change. So he does bow to peer pressure quite a bit. However, he and a lot of other men, probably don’t see things like strip clubs as unethical. Aside from the cheating aspect of it, many (probably most) men don’t think about the ethics are regards consent and coercion etc. And I don’t think this is a male thing particularly. I’m 46 now but in my teens and 20s spent time in strip clubs on nights out when clubs shut. The treatment of the women didn’t occur to any of us. We all just assumed they enjoyed doing it and made good money from it. There is much more awareness now, which is obviously a good thing, but obviously men try not to think about it too much as it gets in the way of what they want to do.
I found it interesting a couple of posters who said that men full of bravado on the flight to Prague / in pub on first night, were very quiet and shame faced at the end of the holiday. I’d be interested to know if this was because of guilt for cheating on their partners (whether that be massage / prostitution or “just” private dance), or because it was obvious that the women were not doing it of free will and they ethics of it was hard for them to reconcile with how they imagined it.
In my marriage, my husband is a hot blooded male who I know watches porn. I don’t think it’s excessive, and it’s nothing extreme. I’m not a so called “cool wife”; It makes me jealous and I don’t like it, but I’ve learned to accept it. Because what’s the alternative? That he, as a mid 40s male, DOESNT like looking at naked females?
so no, I’m not a cool wife. I’m also not a controlling wife, however, if he was invited on a stag do to Prague, I think I would ask him not to go. And that is a direct consequence of his lack of backbone and people pleasing tendencies that mean he would be liable to get swept along and do things he wouldn’t normally do / would regret. And I think he would understand this. He’s done things once before for these reasons and risked our marriage, so he’s lost the privilege of having my unwavering trust.
And I’m not absolving him of responsibility and saying he’d be “led astray” by his bad boy friends. He would absolutely be doing these things becuase he wanted to do them. But wanting to do them at a base level and getting swept along and encouraged by unsavoury friends means it’s much more likely to happen than simply “wanting to do them”.
a male wanting to have sex with a beautiful Eastern European girl when on holiday - I think most men would “want” that to be honest, and I think many women are being hugely naive to think that their husband would have absolutely no interest in that.
Men are fuelled by testosterone. Loads of them would want to do it. Yes, some of them have more back bone than others, others have better or worse friends, some of them can’t handle their drink, some of them find it difficult to stop a situation once it has been set in motion, and some of them don’t care and will do whatever they want if they think they won’t get found out, whereas others will go down this route and then be wracked with guilt afterwards.
Personally, I can think of nothing worse than going on holiday and letting a stranger insert a body part into me. Whereas for an awful lot of men that’s the entire goal of the trip. And that’s a huge fundamental difference between women and men. And there’s no point in pretending it doesn’t exist.
Anyway, from the sounds of the OPs update (husband saying that the group went somewhere without the texting friend, and Burger King photo) it sounds like possibly the strip club was the extent of it.
Not ideal, but could be much worse.
As regards the ejaculating in his pants, yes, it is horrible. I would absolutely hate that. And what on earth was she doing to illicit such a strong, hands free reaction? Probably something quite extreme.