Would you trust DH after these Prague stag weekend inconsistencies?

[Confusedflower124]

Hi everyone. I’m looking for some perspective as I’m feeling very uneasy following DH’s return from a stag weekend in Prague. Until now, I’ve had no reason to doubt him, but I’ve found a few things that aren't adding up.

• The Search History: While he was away, I saw searches on our shared tablet for a specific sex massage parlour, including map directions, and things like "Roly Poly show." He claims the group was just "having a laugh" and looking things up together.

• The Boxers: While doing the washing, I found a pair of his boxers with a white stain on the inside. He denies any physical contact or even masturbating the whole trip, saying he has "no idea" what it is.

• The "Joint" Dance: He eventually admitted the group of 10 had a "joint private dance" with the stag in a small room.

• The Text Message: I saw a message from his close friend sent at 2am on the second night asking, "How was it?" I haven't confronted him about this yet.

He has been patient, hasn't got flippant, and has offered me his phone and passwords. However, my ex-husband had an affair and left when I was 8 months pregnant, so my "radar" is sensitive.

Am I being paranoid due to my past, or is this a classic case of "what happens in Prague stays in Prague"? Does the 2am text suggest something happened that the rest of the group wasn't involved in?

Reading the updates from others is interesting. And means what he says/texted can be explained away as being innocent. I’m not saying all men cheat and that Prague is a hotbed of vice. No. I’ve been there myself but with a boyfriend. The most we did was find a bar/club and score some ecstasy. Yeah judge me! I was 27. Very dodgy though, almost Mafia type people there but was in 00s. Place was in guide book, Radox FM I think.

However, the dodgy massage parlours searches. Sorry but does he think you’re completely stupid and naive and it was done just for a laugh? Heard about happy endings? There was a massage parlour near where I live that was shut down by the police/authorities for offering happy endings and I assume more.

That coupled with other evidence points strongly to him maybe going to a massage parlour at some time during the trip. And it certainly won’t have been just for the massage. Would a strategically placed air tag in his luggage (hidden) have found him out? Possibly. Which is why some women go down that route.

Radost FX club is the actual name. Seems a bit more cleaned up now, with a vegetarian restaurant.

I am probably in a very small minority, but I just don’t get the whole Stag and Hen do thing when it needs naked members of the opposite sex involved? Is your partner at home “ not enough “ for you?
I enjoy a good night out as much as the next bloke but I draw the line at having some naked stranger rubbing herself off on me, and paying for the privilege it just seems really sad and desperate in my opinion.
I get the fact that peer pressure is massive but my wife’s feelings come before my mates.
I think if you are heading to places like Prague,Amsterdam etc then it is pretty safe to say you know what is on the agenda.
The “ what happens on tour, stays on tour “ narrative means that there will always be an element of doubt in what gets repeated once everyone gets home?
To the OP, I would suggest you and your OH sit down and have an open and honest discussion and if it’s not too late….establish some clear boundaries.
Good luck

I find it very reassuring to hear a males perspective saying this and that it does nothing for him.

Sadly, I think you are very much in the minority.

So minimising. If my partner went on a stag to a sleazy stag capital and agreed to a secrecy pact, and had a private dance, there’d be no fucking ‘talking’. How gullible do you think we all are?

You can't base the future of your marriage off a mumsnet thread. People don't only go to Prague with the sole intent of getting laid. You husband is either a shagger or he's not, whichever one his is, he won't change. If you've never had cause to doubt him, its unlikely that he has done anything.

If my DH went on a do like this, he just wouldn't. He finds it's sleazy and gross and the girls are our daughters age. He would most likely slope off with a smaller group, or be stood at the back feeling awkward AF. Many men are like him.

Kettle black really. If they are going to cheat they are not going to wait to go to Prague 🤣🤣🤣

That is definitely a nice response, particularly about your wife's feelings coming before mates. Most guys seem to be pack animals, maybe you need to be a bit of an individual to not go along on these sleazy adventures. Or just a considerate person!

And like you said the what goes on tour stays on tour mentality creates seeds of distrust. You see many posts on here by women tormented about what goes on at seedy stag weekends away. Why do that to your partner? The person who shares your life. I've been with my partner a very long time, since we were young. He's never actually been on a dodgy stag weekend. So I do think there are some decent guys like yourself out there. But as previous poster said they are in the minority!

If the roles were reversed I wouldn't do sleazy dodgy trips away. I care about my partner and I respect him. I don't think these stags are respectful to partners or women in general. And they seem like a crap way to start married life.

👏👏👏

Peer pressure is a massive factor in the “Stag” mentality.
i was being pressured by my wife’s family to have a Stag night” because the boys “needed one”!, I didn’t have one, because the more I felt pressured, the more determined i was not to have one.
I like to think I have a mind of my own, and I’m not a sheep but every person is different.
I am old ( and maybe a bit old fashioned) but I don’t understand why you need to see someone else who isn’t your partner naked to “celebrate “ getting married?

It can pay off to be a go against the grain type of person. History shows what can happen when people just go along with things! I think the social pressure of this stupid tawdry stuff has to be resisted really.

Nothing says I love you more than having a weekend away paying naked strangers to grind against you does it!

My brother when he got married didn’t have a big stag do, I think it was activities in the countryside. His brother in law similar. Both of them don’t cheat and would never do so.

However, years ago when my brother was first married (he’s on the second marriage now) his first wife actually cheated on him. He then told me at that time that apparently loads of men had affairs, more than you know. Maybe he was projecting.

I’m not saying they do or don’t, but you have to be totally naive not to recognise that for certain cities in the world it’s mostly about sexual activities and drink and the like and probably not about seeing the local tourist attractions, in this case Prague Castle or the famous operas there.