Would you trust DH after these Prague stag weekend inconsistencies?

[Confusedflower124]

Hi everyone. I’m looking for some perspective as I’m feeling very uneasy following DH’s return from a stag weekend in Prague. Until now, I’ve had no reason to doubt him, but I’ve found a few things that aren't adding up.

• The Search History: While he was away, I saw searches on our shared tablet for a specific sex massage parlour, including map directions, and things like "Roly Poly show." He claims the group was just "having a laugh" and looking things up together.

• The Boxers: While doing the washing, I found a pair of his boxers with a white stain on the inside. He denies any physical contact or even masturbating the whole trip, saying he has "no idea" what it is.

• The "Joint" Dance: He eventually admitted the group of 10 had a "joint private dance" with the stag in a small room.

• The Text Message: I saw a message from his close friend sent at 2am on the second night asking, "How was it?" I haven't confronted him about this yet.

He has been patient, hasn't got flippant, and has offered me his phone and passwords. However, my ex-husband had an affair and left when I was 8 months pregnant, so my "radar" is sensitive.

Am I being paranoid due to my past, or is this a classic case of "what happens in Prague stays in Prague"? Does the 2am text suggest something happened that the rest of the group wasn't involved in?

I’m so sorry, it doesn’t sound like you are being paranoid at all

I don't think you sound paranoid, but then I think any man who goes on a big group stag do in a city with a reputation for atrracting sleazes has a better than average probability that they are a sleaze themselves.

I’m sorry, I wouldn’t be believing that.

what his reply to his friends “how was it?” message?

He's lying to you.

...he has "no idea" what it is

He eventually admitted...

The 2am text is what you need to investigate.

Prague stag do. Lap dancing. All 10 involved in a private dance (so shared responsibility…I couldn’t get out of it…it wasn’t just me). That’s not a private dance, that’s a special arrangement for the stag. With his mates watching.

Sordid. All of it.

But the 2am suggests that your DH was involved in something that at least one other wasn’t involved in.

Looks like typical stag night behaviour in one of the sleaze cities in Europe. All the best

Hell no I wouldn't trust him! He's lying to you.

The question is, what are you going to do? How much of an issue is this for you?

This is what I don’t know. The lying is the biggest issue for me as makes me feel like I’m going crazy like before with my ex. I’d rather he was just completely honest and then I can at least make an informed choice how to move on.

That's why men go on stag dos in places like Prague OP: for the cheap booze and the cheap sex.
I'm sorry but honestly you really didn't think they were going there for family entertainment did you?

There wasn’t a reply, it wasn’t that he’d deleted a message either as otherwise shows up on the chat history

🤮🤮🤮

Well, the white stain is easily explained by the group dance!

You can't make him be honest. It's clear that he's lied. You'll never trust him. I would not want to be in a relationship like that.

Do you think so?

It really does sound like he’s lying doesn’t it. This would really make me question my relationship. Especially the group lapdance (do they even do it for a group?) I have never known this if so and i used to have a friend who owned a strip club.

but this would probably be a deal breaker for me. He is obviously willing to lie and cover his tracks

Its obvious hes lying to you.

You know the 2am text wasn't him being asked how good his pillow was.

Oldest trick in the book too to offer his phone/passwords. Did you take him up on it?

Of course. Lap dance, he got excited.

Yep.

My ex never offered his phone/passwords so this is new to me, he’s always been very open with leaving his phone around and I know his passwords.
No I didn’t take him up on it - should I? I’m tempted to do it whilst he’s asleep

What were expectations when he said he was going to Prague on stage do? Although it is a beautiful city (been on a city break there years ago with DH before it became stag do central) most stags are not there for the architecture and it has an awful reputation for stag dos. My DH would refuse to go on one there

It’s natural you’ll have concerns / question what went on.

I’ve been on a stag do in Prague in the past…

Did we look things up like that? Yes, we did and it was part of the banter.

We also had an agreement that we wouldn’t talk about what went on once back. If your husbands group had similar @Confusedflower124 than that may explain his reluctance to speak about the Joint Dance.

It’s possible the ‘how was it?’ Text is about something else and not what you’re fearing. Groups sometimes break up into smaller groups. Some of ours went clubbing one night, others didn’t feel like it and went back to hotel earlier one night.

Talk to him. If you’ve not had any reason to doubt him before that’s a good sign,

He won’t be honest with you. He’ll tell you the bare minimum that he thinks he can get away with. They will all have an unspoken pact along the lines of “What happens in Prague, stays in Prague”.

Given you the full details would risk you telling other wives and partners. That’s never going to happen.

C’mon OP, why else does a stag do go to Prague - it’s not for the historic sites, it’s for the cheap available sex.

You know he’s lying deep down - you may never get him admit it.

Why would he when he knows it may well be the end of his marriage?

He has every reason to lie, deny & minimise.

@CaffeinatedSeagull why did you have that pact, so people could cheat?

Well, isn’t it obvious? He’ll have had a scantily clad Eastern European beauty gyrating on him.