Where are all the nice 50-something, single males?

[MysticalChipmunk]

Are they hiding? I can’t find one. OLD is dire and not for me. What can I do?

All the nice young men turn into boring old miseries. So there simply aren't any.

Touché - that was my thinking.

But after even more generalist responses I was more tempted to go back to lurking.

None of my similarly minded friends are meeting folks out in the real world either. We go to the gym to exercise, the supermarket to “smash and dash” generally and otherwise keep ourselves largely to ourselves.

I often go to see live music, something I’ve loved all my life. Days used to be when you could meet someone on a night out but women don’t seem to like to be approached.

Granted, I’m no Adonis but past partners have said that I’m attractive [none of us ever see that though eh?] and generally speaking do get regular matches online.

Sadly I think the few that ruin it for both sexes generate enough negativity that we inevitably pick up on it and expect everyone to be the same. Sad times really.

Look at you asking for trouble 🤣 🤣

Yes this. My local food bank has several 50s s single men as volunteer's... its quite refreshing!!

And those are usually the young women he should avoid!

Hopefully all the nice 50 something men are at home being good husbands and dads to their families. We can live in hope.😊

That’s why the original poster stipulated the single ones

Oh, why?

Just laughed when I read your post , that’s all 😂.
Trying to pick up men on Mumsnet 😂 😂

Well, you never know!

True i suppose 😂

I am very content with life. I have young adult children still at home who are independent...except when it comes to spiders 😒🙄... l work, have friends and am happy.

I would much prefer meeting someone the "normal" way where there is no pressure on it having to lead somewhere.

It's always suggested on here to join a gym or club to meet people... which l already did ages ago because l liked that actual activity...not in the sole hope of meeting a new partner, so l do have a full life.

What about you?

Avoid why ? X

Yeah snap … online dating seems so contrived, it’s not really for me but my alternative is that or well meaning friends trying to set me up with random folks. It’s amusing nonetheless just who they think is “absolutely perfect” for me.

Like you, content enough with life but I’ve always felt that a life shared is more fulfilling and my ethic tells me that we get the best from ourselves when we have someone we care deeply for.

I genuinely don’t know what’s next for me, I do OLD for a couple of months then get disenchanted with it. I love discovering new things about people, learning how they tick but not in such a prescriptive way that OLD pushes me into. In the end I get bored of it and I genuinely don’t want to water down my passion for people generally.

I’m a part of a walking group however that’s not really single orientated and when folks have got together in the group it’s caused unnecessary drama. Maybe a cooking course 🤣

They're probably just getting on with their lives.

We have several friends who are bachelors, basically they had similar experiences in their younger days as many women here, ie the people they met weren't nice people. Decided not to bother and got on with their lives. Great 'uncles' to our kids when they were little, would have been great dad's just never were.

Men who date women young enough to be their daughters are not nice. They wish to get into the knickers of an impressionable inexperienced young woman because they know that older, more experienced women won't put up with their shit.

If you find one, ask his ex why she divorced him.

Yeah because every woman is angelic in divorce 🙄

Yes. No downside, only upside

As a 50 year old lesbian I can assure you that OLD is just as bad for us.

Yet … a man doing the same, according to others on this post, is to be castigated as some sort of tawdry pervert?

The hypocrisy is amusing 🤣

When I was doing OLD at age 40 I got contacted by two men, one was 70 and the other was 73 and was talking about his granddaughter, which felt strange as I'm child free. I did several years later meet my now fiancé - he's five years younger than me.

Yuck
most cyclists are the most arrogant pretentious berks going

Rubbish!
I have had two relationships since I ended my marriage. Both nice men in their 50s. First one was 54 and I was 60. Ended amicably after 2 years because of separate stresses on our lives. We are still friends. He is still single and would like us to get back together but I have moved on. A year later I met another lovely man - he 58, me 63 - still very happily so in that relationship 2 years later.
I was definitely not expecting or wanting to meet anytime after my toxic ex. Met both men at social events related to hobbies. Neither of them were expecting to meet anyone (foster was relatively newly divorced, second widowed/ neither would have gone on OLD.
Both had been in long marriages to women met in their 20s, monogamous types.
So as per previous poster, just go out and do the things that you enjoy that make you happy and you may meet someone similar. And don’t belive that men all want younger. The nice ones look at the person, not the age.

If he’s affluent I would worry it wasn’t his personality they were going for but the lifestyle he can offer! 20 years is quite the age gap!