Where are all the nice 50-something, single males?

[MysticalChipmunk]

Are they hiding? I can’t find one. OLD is dire and not for me. What can I do?

‘Cash house and car’

I mean isn’t hoping they aren’t homeless and have a car to drive a very basic and reasonable expectation, not a sign of wanton golddigging?

And why wouldn’t bin man have these things, as an employed adult?

See for me if I was a potential partner that sounds such a pressure - a man that made me feel amazing…

maybe you were joking and didn’t mean it that way

relationships are two way where you both enhance each others lives - I just think there’s a lot of pressure put on men to whisk women off their feet

Nope no offer. I took myself off to the loo after the cake as a strategic move to see if she would pay, but I came back out and she was just sitting there. I don't won't to work out how much I spent but no way was I doing a third date 😂

Maybe because it suggests that your interest in a man is predicated on how much money you think he has rather than, say, that you think he's a good person, that you're physically attracted to him and/or that he's the kind of person you could fall in love with?

Ok I've added it all up for the two dates. £185 including my £40 travel!

hello
im 50 something, single - not sure about nice - not really for me to say

It’s more common than you might imagine

Looks like there's people to be avoided of either sex, but this being a mainly women's forum you guys are being brave.

I was seeing a guy for a while and each time we went out we'd just take turns to pay, he earned more than me so on occasion he'd treat me to a nice meal or a night away that I probably couldn't have afforded, but it wasn't often. I couldn't imagine doing it any other way tbh.

I don't have expensive tastes nor am I an expensive dresser, don't get my hair and nails done and the clothes I have is what I wear. If you want glam it isn't me. No £150 coffee dates for me 😆

I used the dating thread on this forum under another name and some of the comments made about men were very uncomfortable to read and make me determined to try and better person.
i do dip in and out a bit and there an kinda undertone of “women don’t behave that while dating “‘- and maybe most women don’t- but plenty of women do behave quite poorly towards men ( fair enough) - so just interesting to see the responses

What I mean is that feeling of being in love with someone, not being treated like a princess every day. When you’re in love with someone, and the chemistry is great, you feel amazing in that person’s presence. That’s what I meant.

TBH I think that is a big ask in your 50s. I think if you really want a life partner you need to be more Charlotte Lucus and less Elizabeth Bennet.

My friend is 58 and met her partner a couple of years ago on a dating app. He's 54 so is dating older than himself. He is decent and works, has his own house, teeth, hair etc. Only single as his wife cheated on him. I think my friend got very lucky!

I would be so interested to know how they are doing three or four years on.

Maybe it’s meant to show just how unsettling it felt for her — hearing something like that from a man in his 50s. She’s simply repeating what he said.
Instead of picking apart her experience, maybe the focus should be on why he chose those words in the first place. If you’re that curious, perhaps she can give you his details?!?!

Well, I'm tall, athletic, good job, nice looking I think, own place, hair and teeth 😂, generous, smart, single parent, dealt with some blows. Trying to meet someone nice for a decent relationship proving impossible. It's just as bad for guys.

To me that’s the infatuation stage before love and living together - you feel you can rule the world together - I don’t think that carries on but changes into something different - more like still looking forward to seeing and being with, rather than feeling amazing all the time in their presence - especially as it’s a relationship at a different stage of life

I’m also not sure you have that infatuation stage when you are older in the same way as you would when younger

anyway I felt the need to point it out because it sound alike an unrealistic expectation that could hold you back

In my mind when you are older - love is a choice and an conscious action - there are lots of compromise and bumps along the way

I agree - to be that can’t eat can’t sleep
feeling high in love is reserved for your youth - maybe you can feel it again but it’s not in the same way - you know by your 50s you can’t live on love which I for one beloved at 18 - ridiculous when I look back - but I’m still glad I experienced that

Can you state women you know that have actually specifically done this? And is it worse than men solely going for youth/beauty?

That's a pretty low bar though. I mean, my most recent ex met all those criteria (and it was a fairly impressive job too- senior management etc etc).

It didn't stop him being a total nightmare. Yes, he was open about his mental health issues when we got together, but he told me he was stable and managing them well. But I think there were a lot of unaddressed emotional issues going on there as well, and it started to become clear that he was using his mental health issues as a stalking horse for emotional abuse, and I was expected not to complain as that was being insufficiently sympathetic to something he "couldn't help" 🤔

Maybe I just watch too many romance movies ❤️ ❤️

I've been watching La La Land ❤️

Not seen that one. Any good?

Great. And I hate musicals.

Oh it's utterly amazing, an old school romance musical. You have to watch it.

I’ll probably enjoy it then as I love musicals and romance 🥰