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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I’m guessing my dates cancelled ?

28 replies

userhallball · 30/03/2026 17:34

so I had a date planned, he messaged through the app this morning to confirm I responded, I’ve just gone back on app and noticed he’s vanished… so guessing the 7pm date is cancelled?

OP posts:
Trumpisacunt · 30/03/2026 17:53

Maybe he's paused his profile to see if tonight's date with you is going to lead somewhere?

DropOfffArtiste · 30/03/2026 17:54

Do you have his number? I'm guessing not. In which case I wouldn't go.

Menopants · 30/03/2026 17:55

Yes it’s cancelled. If he had paused you would still see him. It sucks but he’s obviously a dick

Onadark · 30/03/2026 17:57

Of course it's not cancelled! You both confirmed this morning that you were going.

userhallball · 30/03/2026 17:57

Yeah not sure why he bothered confirming this morning, I wasn’t going to make the effort to get ready and go

OP posts:
userhallball · 30/03/2026 17:59

Just to verify he’s blocked/removed me on the dating app, this morning he said you still good for tonight?

i responded yes 7pm ?

went to to double check he didn’t need to adjust time and he’s vanished… I think that’s a definite that he’s not going to turn up

OP posts:
LadyWhistledownsSocietyPapers · 30/03/2026 18:15

Even if he hadn't disappeared from the app, he didn't confirm 7pm so I wouldn't have gone. So rude!

Did you arrange a place to meet?

userhallball · 30/03/2026 18:53

Yes place and time was arranged, I was just confirming the time, I went back on the app to check this arvo and he had disappeared

OP posts:
LeDix · 30/03/2026 18:55

I would assume it was still on

ThatLimeBiscuit · 30/03/2026 19:00

If he’s unmatched you I’d say yes the date is off. Sorry OP, the apps are rough.

BaguetteLady · 30/03/2026 19:03

I would be hesitant to go out to meet someone I had NO WAY of getting in touch with and no identifying information about outside of a deleted app profile.

If you wanted to be very polite, you could call over to the venue at 7 pm and give some excuse if he's actually there, but it doesn't sound too promising, imo.

Grapes308 · 30/03/2026 19:09

If he's unmatched you and you have no other way of communicating with him, then yes he's not turning up tonight. God it's a nightmare out there on OLD. Sorry OP. I think the posters saying "yes it's still on" have obviously never been on the apps!

Gabitule · 30/03/2026 19:11

This happened to me in the past. Why do idiots do this? I wonder if it’s because:

  • they do intend to meet but are not actually ready to meet someone new (they’re just out of a relationship or perhaps still in a relationship) and have a last minute freak-out.
  • They are not that keen on meeting, they’re willing themself to meet (hence the morning message) but by the afternoon they realise they’re really not that bothered, so they block us.
  • they’re deeply insecure and wankish so they need an ego boost to see how many women would agree to go on a date with them. They invite several and cancel on all/most of them?
  • other reasons?
Grapes308 · 30/03/2026 19:12

Onadark · 30/03/2026 17:57

Of course it's not cancelled! You both confirmed this morning that you were going.

Why else would you delete the profile of someone you're about to go in a date with?! He now has no way of communicating with her (and vv). He's definitely bottled it.

Gabitule · 30/03/2026 19:18

Grapes308 · 30/03/2026 19:09

If he's unmatched you and you have no other way of communicating with him, then yes he's not turning up tonight. God it's a nightmare out there on OLD. Sorry OP. I think the posters saying "yes it's still on" have obviously never been on the apps!

I agree, the naivety of people saying that he’d turn up because he confirmed this morning 🤣.

Many years of internet dating have thought me that the world is small and karma does exist. So one day this guy match with a girl he really likes and is desperate to meet. This girl will be friends with our OP here and, when she finds out what this guy did to OP, she will refuse to meet him.
Variations of these have happened to me (including bumping into a guy who had ghosted me after several dates, at the train station - confirming that he had not been hit by a bus 🤣, and many more)

TheThingOnTheIce · 30/03/2026 20:00

Would the pp saying they’d still think it was on still think that if their only method of communication was WhatsApp and he’d blocked on there? As it’s exactly the same thing if their only method of communication is the dating app .

NowStartingOver · 30/03/2026 20:09

What app was it?

I've learnt the hard way that you need to keep convos on the app and not take it away from the app, because at least you have moderators who can check for stuff.

Redhairandhottubs · 30/03/2026 20:21

Sounds like a lucky escape. Anyone who behaves like that is clearly an arse. Better you find that out now than further down the line.

Newname29 · 30/03/2026 20:24

What an absolute dick. So sorry OP

youalright · 30/03/2026 20:26

God men suck

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 30/03/2026 20:29

userhallball · 30/03/2026 17:57

Yeah not sure why he bothered confirming this morning, I wasn’t going to make the effort to get ready and go

Don't despair, he might be just be trapped in a lift - with no signal. And an OWL! 😱

It could happen.

Franjipanl8r · 30/03/2026 22:25

If you arranged a place and a time, then why did you ask him what time again?

Nosdacariad · 31/03/2026 08:26

Franjipanl8r · 30/03/2026 22:25

If you arranged a place and a time, then why did you ask him what time again?

Is that pertinent?

aWeeCornishPastie · 31/03/2026 08:28

Op set up another profile and match with him again then ghost him. Wanker

ForTipsyFinch · 31/03/2026 11:02

If I was unmatched on the app and didn’t have their number I would assume it wouldn’t be going ahead. I wouldn’t turn up.