Boyfriend cheated with sex workers

[Forkinell]

So,
been seeing a man since last summer. I was very protective of myself and my home environment but he really was understanding and I let my guard down. He’s taken me on holidays, got on really well with my son (older child) and generally seemed amazing. Everyone was so happy for me that I finally met a man who was treating me how I deserve.

i saw something on his phone by chance (I’ve never had any suspicions ever, we have both had many convos about how loyalty is so important etc) to suggest he was asking a prostitute to meet up. Then as I looked, there are many, many more messages to many workers. Some I can tell he’s deleted but forgot to delete their reply.
he says he has visited them 4 times, twice to a massage parlour (ick) and twice visits to escorts but no penetration (wow thank god thanks pal) he was messaging them as recently as Thursday. I saw this all on Friday.

the language he was using to them strongly suggests he knew exactly what he was talking about and was a regular user.

I have obviously binned him off. Just needed some support really

So sorry op, at least you found out.
Personally loathe the term sex worker, they are prostitutes women. Womens bodies are not a place of work.

This is nasty to discover but I’m so glad you binned him and now you don’t have to spend anymore time with an absolute creep.

Why do you feel humiliated? He should feel humiliated for using such services when in a relationship. He should feel the humiliation not you. You should hold your head up high, you didn’t cheat, you didn’t pay for sex, you did nothing wrong but throw out the trash.

Rude.

Well done OP! Stay strong and you will find someone worthy of you :)

Well done for binning him off, lots of support here on mumsnet, apart from the weird first post of course.. So keep posting if its helps you.

You've done the right thing 100%, even though it's not easy after things were going so well. But thank god you found out.

The feeling of humiliation will wear off, it's probably the shock and disgust making you feel that way, but deep down you know the shame is all his. What a total fucking loser he is.

I'm so sorry. You did nothing wrong and it's all a reflection of him. I think its important until your definitely ready for dating and can see things clearly when your a single mom. When you're juggling, it's hard to see things clearly. Stay strong and grounded! Well done for giving it a go 😊

This 👆

Any humiliation and shame you feel are not yours to carry, that’s his to carry because what he’s done is shameful on many levels.

It’s easier said than done so talk to trusted friends or a therapist. You’ll be feeling lots of emotions as it’s a real shock and that’s ok. Just please don’t carry the shame. You sound lovely and you deserve much more.

Thanks everyone.
I really appreciate the replies

Turns out he has messaged countless sex workers he’s found online and been to a brothel twice within the last month, not even a massage parlour. A brothel.
hes saying he has no clue why he did and and is going to therapy to work out the reason, and he will let me know when he gets answers. Which is sort of laughable to be honest because it was a very straightforward act. He is incredibly sorry and says it wasn’t worth it at all and he won’t go on the sites again as they have “ruined his life” 🙄
I don’t feel like the reason will make any difference to be honest, it isn’t my business “why”. His actions have been the closure!

I wonder why he thinks you’d be interested in knowing why he did it? That’s his problem. You will have better things to be doing than listening to his self justifications.

Glad to read you ended the relationship. His excuses are lame to say the least. I hope you find a man who respects women soon.

He's hoping to find a plausible excuse Op, then he'll try and engage your sympathy and worm his way back in with you. Move on with your life and stop engaging with him.

A brothel, Jesus Christ.

He went somewhere most of the women are likely to be young and trafficked, paid the brothel owner aka pimp to have sex with them and enjoyed it so much it did it again within weeks.

What a fucking disgusting man.

So he lied about the brothels, bet you are so pleased you’ve ended it with him. Of course he regrets going, but should have thought about it before.

This in spades. A brothel. Twice. 🤢

Ha ha at him saying he'll let you know why when he knows.

The why is that as well as being unfaithful and a liar, it's also because he has zero respect for women and girls. That's the only why you need to know really isn't it.

‘He’ll let you know’ 😂 fucking block him op