Online dating expectations

[Stressheadmumma]

Ok so new to OLD and I know everyone will say stay clear and it’s brutal. Well aware of this but want to dip my toe in. Joined hinge and hardly anyone on there so joined FB dating and have matched with several people but the chat just seems to fizzle out very quickly. Just curious how quickly people expect replies in initial stages. Was having a good chat with someone and moved to WhatsApp and he asked me plans next week and the haven’t heard from him in 24 hrs so just wondering if I’m being too needy expecting quicker replies or this is just a sign he’s not going to follow through. Just like to hear others views of what they expect is acceptable. Some I haven’t heard from in like 3/4 days and then will randomly message so those I will bin off as clearly a back up option!

I was a OLD hater but joined hesitantly one day and ended up meeting my now partner on there. But yes there were so many time wasters although for me the time they take to reply isn’t an indicator of how things could go. I had plenty of people message me back instantly but they also then expected me to reply instantly and got really clingy when we hadn’t even met in person which really put me off.

My now partner didn’t reply to me for 2 days after just 2 days of on off messaging because he was celebrating his daughters birthday, I didn’t hold that against him and actually really appreciate how he’s not really into his phone now even many years later. He’s just not a texter.

What I learnt though is don’t wait too long to meet, a week or 2 max of messaging should give you and them an idea of if they want to meet. If they delay any longer than that then they either aren’t into you that much or they aren’t serious about finding someone.

Aren’t the paid for ones meant to be better?

I’ve met two great men from Facebook dating recently, tinder you have to pay to see who has liked but fb just lets you see everything so it’s better for matching. Most convos fizzle out but there are chatty men on there and I’ve had a brilliant time with these two.

@LemonBelly thanks that’s really helpful advice

@Didimum i have heard mixed things from friends and most people say same people on most of them so not sure. Don’t really want to pay at the moment until I’m a bit more serious about it

There’s no point in paying, the same men are on most of the apps. I’m off at the moment as I’ve met someone so I’m seeing how it goes.
I would be fairly relaxed about contact. I know I reply when I can and if I’ve had a couple of busy days I’m not prioritising a stranger over friends and family to reply to. If they get a bit clingy and want constant communication then they’re not for me. But I’m not desperate for a relationship. The guy I’m seeing chats every day but not constantly, we both have things going on and we understand that.
Make sure you have a good life outside of OLD and stay relaxed with it. You don’t know these people at all and many won’t be what they say they are.

Don't have any expectations.