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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Confused and lost

8 replies

ElbowsEllie84 · 19/01/2026 15:08

So my boyfriend and I grew up in the same town and only a few blocks away from eachother so we've basically known eachother our entire lives. We ran into each other in April of 2024 (while I was still with my sons father) and literally as soon as i saw him i was attracted to him. My sons father and i seperated in June after 13 years and by September I was talking to my current bf we became official November 1st of 2024. Previously my hair was dyed dark brown (born a dishwater blonde). But I decided to go back my natural color blonde right before my current and I began talking. Since then my hair has stayed the same but I wanted to dye it back brown for the fall/winter but my bf informed me that if he dye my hair dark he won't speak to me anymore. But every girl he has EVER been with has dark hair. Recently we had issues and he told me if I dont act right hes going out on a date with a much younger female who too has dark hair. I'm so confused on how he can threaten to end our relationship if I dye my hair dark but also threaten to go on a date with another female with dark hair! Can someone help me before I go nuts??

OP posts:
365RubyRed · 19/01/2026 15:09

He's controlling and manipulating you. Dump him.

MinkaLeDinka · 19/01/2026 15:11

A joke post surely?

Placetobreathe · 19/01/2026 15:14

For heaven's sake OP why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who would ditch you if you change the colour of your hair!

Anonanonanonagain · 19/01/2026 15:38

My ex threatened to dump me if I dyed my hair. He turned out to be a controlling twat.

Angrybird76 · 19/01/2026 15:46

I went out with someone years ago who said he would dumpo me if I got my belly button pierced. i did any way and dumped him

OP your issue isnt whether your boyfriend likes dark hair or not, but that you have controlling twat who threatens to dump you or see someone else if you dont do exactly what you want. This is not normal. Leave him.

FrodoBiggins · 19/01/2026 15:48

Dye his hair when he's asleep

shimasu · 19/01/2026 16:03

And you said "Bye then"

Lavender14 · 19/01/2026 16:07

So he's abusive then op? Walking red flag get rid.

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