What are subscription online messaging sex chat sites?

[Grimshairytails]

Yes, I'm possibly naive, but in my defence I'm in my seventies and my husband of decades has just joined one. And he's definitely not himself in the bedroom department!

Why are you asking if you know he has

The OP is asking what it is, not if he's joined one.

I'm guessing just what it sounds like, OP. A website service that enables a person to talk 'dirty' to someone else online.

Thanks. I feel I need to be a bit more clued up as to what he's actually doing before I discuss it. Is it a sort of live web cam pornography? I don't know why I'm not upset about this, perhaps my feelings for him are lukewarm at best.

He is essentially cheating on you: he is getting his sexual gratification from outside your marriage.
Whether you are bothered about him cheating or not perhaps it''s time for an open discussion between you both to discuss boundaries about what is acceptable or not acceptable in your marriage.

Interesting. If he would do his thing and leave me out of the equation I think we could come to a compromise. Sadly, he seems to have reinvented himself a little sexually and I am supposed to feel the same. Currently, my body is at his disposal, if not my mind. My problem maybe.

How did you find out he's signed up? Do you know the name of the website? It would be hard to say what exactly it entails without knowing the name.

What do you mean your body/mind is at his disposal?

You’re not naive at all – this stuff has exploded in the last few years .

“Subscription online messaging sex chat sites”
are services where people (mostly men) pay a monthly fee to privately message with people presenting as attractive women. The chats are flirtatious and often sexual in tone. Some include photos, voice notes or “girlfriend-style” conversations. Many are run by companies where the “women” are actually paid chat operators (sometimes several people using one profile, and often male), and the whole thing is designed to create emotional and sexual attachment so the user keeps paying.

For many men it becomes a kind of secret relationship – not just about sex, but about validation, attention and feeling desired. That can absolutely affect real-life intimacy, because their emotional and sexual energy is being diverted elsewhere.

You’re not imagining the change you’ve noticed. For a lot of partners, this feels very similar to an affair, even if there’s “no physical contact”, because it involves secrecy, sexual content and emotional investment.

Your body is yours and you do not owe him to go along with anything that you don't wish to.
💐

I guess I have to decide whether I want to continue having sex. It's obligation sex at most for me.

Considering that sex between you has waned, maybe you could reach a compromise, as long as there's honesty and openess.