Baby dad problems

[talkingT]

Hi Mums this will be a long one.

so I have a one and a half year old little boy, me and my sons dad have been separated since December 2024, recently I had police come to my door at 1am looking for my sons dad apparently he was caught with possession of cannibis and other charges that I don’t know about, he is now on a suspended sentence. (He was then arrested at his own home, he doesn’t live with us)

I don’t feel comfortable allowing my son to see him due to him having a criminal record etc, but I know I have no rights to stop him as his dad is on the birth certificate.

he also pays no child support towards my son.

could someone advice me about custody etc I’m considering going to court for full custody as I don’t want my son growing up around criminals etc.

if anyone has been through please let me know the process and what I need and what it all entails as I’m a young mum I’m very clueless to all of this.

please no judgment x

Does he work? If he does CMS.

And then visitation. What is he actually asking for in terms of seeing your son?

You need to apply for CMS officially.

If he wants to be a part of this child’s life he needs to be supporting them financially.

He just demands when he wants to see my son, he hasn’t seen him in a month then will just randomly text me demanding to see him or for him to come stay at his house however I don’t feel comfortable with his history of drugs etc.

he does work however I have told him about cms he says that if I apply for it he will quit his job because he isn’t paying a penny towards my son.

You can/should contact the police and ask for disclosure about his convictions to find out if there's anything that would make child contact unsafe (Sarah's law) . Certainly conviction for possession of cannabis isn't strong enough for that. As shit as it is, lack of child maintenance isn't relevant to contact.

What a prince.

I would play the long game. Because the courts will likely give him time if he asks for it.

Tell him you will 'slowly build up' if he wants overnights. Which means an hour at the park the first week and go from there. He will get bored before he's got to an overnight and you start again.

And go to CMS anyway. Let him give up his job, it's all the same to you.

This.

Nothing you have mentioned would necessarily preclude him having access to his child.

Convictions for dealing or hard drugs would be a different matter. I agree with PP, check with the police.

Well if he gives up his job, then he won’t have money to buy drugs. I would get legal advice, but I certainly wouldn’t agree to overnights, has he had the child overnight before, until you know exactly what he’s been charged with, you cannot let him have your child. It doesn’t sound like he’s in a great position to get access to the child.

Well more fool him if he quits his job. You will then get £5 a week from his benifits which will be better than nothing and he will be in a much worse situation than before.

You would be very unlikely to get full custody but seeing as he only sees his son once a month if you refused contact there is a good chance he wouldn’t go to court to seek access.

Stop letting him dictate everything to you and taking his word as gospel.

Apply for the CMS.

Apply for CMS. Don't let him dictate if he gives up his job so be it.

Do Sarah's law and Agree a reasonable viewing schedule.

Im other other words, take charge, don't be a mug.