Am I being too sensitive?

[Allthecheeseplease]

Was with OH yesterday watching a documentary about hotels. He passed a comment that one of the more high value hotels obviously employed better looking women. He compared two hotels and said the women in Hotel B weren't great but the women in Hotel A were much better looking. I pointed out that we couldn't see their faces and then realised he was basing this solely on their bodies. I asked him if that's what he meant and he said well sex sells and that what most men like. "I said you mean that's what you think is attractive". He turned it around and said "are you offended because I'm just saying it how it is?" For context we are both ND and I have been taking ozempic for weight loss (I've lost 4.5 stone).

Yes you are

Fair enough, Thanks :-)

Yeah I’d say you are being a bit sensitive here to be honest. He’s right in that there is a typical “look”, for both men & women, that is considered attractive.

That’s not to say that is everyone’s type, or that anybody who doesn’t fit that type is hideous though.

Thank you :-)

No you’re not. He probably wouldn’t be too pleased if you passed loads of comments on the bodies of men on tv when sitting next to him and commenting on whether or not they were sexy. Sounds like he objectifies women.

Yes you are.

He wasn’t talking about you he was making a generic statement of truth.

I am ND and always get in trouble making generic statements of truth and my OH thinks I’m making digs at him. I’d assumed it was because he’s NT he doesn’t understand my truth-telling ways but maybe not.

well done on weight loss x

If you’re taking his comment as a dig at you, then yes you’re being too sensitive.

But I also think you’re not being sensitive enough if you don’t find his comments about women offensive, particularly the implication that women are hired for their looks/bodies. I assume you were already aware that he’s sexist?

Well I wouldn't be happy OP that he judges how good a hotel is by the physical appearance of the women who work there.

Presumably that is his normal approach to life : that women's value is purely their attractiveness to men.

So no, you weren't being sensitive because now you know how he views women.

Oh FFS. It's completely obvious whether you're male or female!

Look at the more expensive / higher end airlines. We have flown Singapore Airlines and Qatar in this last year and the cabin crew are absolutely immaturely turned out and yes - more attractive - than on a budget airline.

Same with restaurants and hotels!

It's just the way it is and always has been.

If it is so blatantly obvious why did her OH have to point it out to OP?

Even it is a fact there was absolutely no need for him to talk about the relative attractiveness of these women unless it was important to him.

??? Important to him?!?!

Tom Hardy was on TV the other day and I said to DH how attractive he is (DH agreed).

We also commented on Salma Hayek and how she looks amazing for almost 60.

It's not "important to us" in the slightest 😂It's conversation whilst you're watching TV.

Well personally I have no idea what Tom Hardy looks like although I have heard of him. I have no idea who Salma Hayak even is, let alone what they look like.

I would never dream of making comments to other people about people's looks. I obviously have my own thoughts about them but I certainly wouldn't share them. And especially not with someone who i cared about and who might feel hurt.

What a repulsive attitude he has towards women.

Is he seriously suggesting that the better class of business employs female staff solely for their looks to give their male customers something to lech over?

We all have our sensitivities and you’re only human. But he was just making a general comment about some hotel ads so I don’t think it was pragmatic to make it about your own insecurities.

Thanks all :-) Very interesting comments. Maybe it was the sexism I didn't like or may I took it personally. Tbh im not sure now but either way I think I was a bit sensitive about it.