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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Looking for help

6 replies

Anonymous13863 · 04/10/2025 01:59

I have been with my partner for 7 years, we are happy and our sex life has always been good. Now we are comfy I want to spice things up a bit. Looking for advice on underwear and what to wear for a girl who is really self conscious. He loves me for who I am and loves my body. It’s me who is feeling very uneasy on how I look

OP posts:
Hairycherry · 04/10/2025 02:06

Communicate with him. Last time I bought sexy underwear, my partner took one look at it then said “take it off” lol. The sex was good but after talking later he said he honestly didn’t notice the underwear whether it was sexy stuff or plain pants!

MysticalBiscuit · 04/10/2025 10:26

I'd say the important thing is that it's something you feel good in. If you want to buy some fancy underwear, I'd recommend going to the shops and trying on a few things until you find something you like.

Bringitonicancope · 04/10/2025 10:39

Perhaps you should look at the Anne Summers ads that MN persists in showing us? Although I think they are for women not girls.
But really if he loves your body and loves you for who you are why do you feel the need to reduce yourself to a hackneyed male fantasy?

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 04/10/2025 14:52

There is nothing wrong with wearing something to give you a bit of extra confidence! Presumably if you went out on a date night you would both make an effort to wear nice clothes - if you're intending on spending a romantic evening then the same should apply to your underwear.

It really depends on your budget, and what bits you want to accentuate or possibly cover. I really rate Ann Summers lingerie - they used to be awful but over the last couple of years they've got much better. My local shop often has items on sale as well, I've picked up 3 full outfits for less than £40 before. What's really useful is that on their bodysuits, they give you a dress size and then a cup size option - for example 14 C, 14D, 14F etc. So you avoid the common problem of buying one that fits your boobs perfectly but is too tight or too loose elsewhere.

Playful Promises are also in the same price bracket, but I find their quality hit and miss.

If you've got the money for it, Agent Provocateur or Honey Birdette do some gorgeous pieces. HB sizing runs a little small IMO.

Depending on your shape, you can get some really cheap pieces on Shein. However, don't expect to be able to wash them more than once, and the sizing is generally just "S, M, L, XL" - so unless you have a "standard" figure the result can be erratic. EG I'm a DD cup and a short size 12. So if I buy a body suit that fits my boobs, I'll find the crotch is dangling around my knees, or if it fits my torso then I'll struggle to fit my boobs in.

Amazon have some good pieces, like this for example
https://amzn.to/3WolKIo
However like Shein the sizing is S, M, L etc.

Hairycherry · 04/10/2025 16:18

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 04/10/2025 14:52

There is nothing wrong with wearing something to give you a bit of extra confidence! Presumably if you went out on a date night you would both make an effort to wear nice clothes - if you're intending on spending a romantic evening then the same should apply to your underwear.

It really depends on your budget, and what bits you want to accentuate or possibly cover. I really rate Ann Summers lingerie - they used to be awful but over the last couple of years they've got much better. My local shop often has items on sale as well, I've picked up 3 full outfits for less than £40 before. What's really useful is that on their bodysuits, they give you a dress size and then a cup size option - for example 14 C, 14D, 14F etc. So you avoid the common problem of buying one that fits your boobs perfectly but is too tight or too loose elsewhere.

Playful Promises are also in the same price bracket, but I find their quality hit and miss.

If you've got the money for it, Agent Provocateur or Honey Birdette do some gorgeous pieces. HB sizing runs a little small IMO.

Depending on your shape, you can get some really cheap pieces on Shein. However, don't expect to be able to wash them more than once, and the sizing is generally just "S, M, L, XL" - so unless you have a "standard" figure the result can be erratic. EG I'm a DD cup and a short size 12. So if I buy a body suit that fits my boobs, I'll find the crotch is dangling around my knees, or if it fits my torso then I'll struggle to fit my boobs in.

Amazon have some good pieces, like this for example
https://amzn.to/3WolKIo
However like Shein the sizing is S, M, L etc.

That Amazon thing is so tacky!

BettyBobble · 04/10/2025 17:01

Sein is really good. I have loads of sexy stuff from there. Cheap and cheerful

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