Ah love. I wonder if you need focus less on dating and more on building a life that’s got a lot of meaning and joy to you. I wonder if you miss what your life was or what you thought it was and a new life needs to be built in its place. It’s hard if you loved someone for 18 years. That won’t immediately go away, it’s likely half your lifetime. But keep going for a life that’s got joy and you’ll get there.