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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Am I overreacting to this?

27 replies

Emanerz · 24/07/2025 16:54

I lost someone close in horrible circumstances a few days ago. A friend who knows reached out which was kind but then said they’d had a really tough week as they had witnessed a stranger slip and fall in front of them and badly hurt themself. I get that’s horrible but also it feels a bit attention seeking. If that’s what they count as a horrible week I just can’t engage!

OP posts:

Holdingonfornow · 25/07/2025 07:35

Kayster31 · 25/07/2025 07:31

I’m very sorry for your loss.

I think some people do this kind of thing in an attempt to be empathetic and try and relate etc. Possible that they felt awkward and didn’t know what to say etc? I think it’s hard too for many people to just offer sympathy and support and just listen to what a person needs. If you haven’t experienced loss of someone close too I think people have no clue how shattering it is.

I lost both my parents and then my brother over a space of 6 years from 2006-12 - I definitely had a lot of awkward conversations during this period.

really wise post

you know this person, are they usually self focussed and dismissive of your problems or were they perhaps struggling to make appropriate conversation at a difficult time?

sorry for your loss x

Wicked123 · 25/07/2025 08:08

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to be annoyed. Whilst them witnessing a strangers accident may have been traumatic, I personally don’t think it is comparable to the trauma of losing a loved one in horrible circumstances. I feel like your friend should realise this…

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