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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can't tell whether Boyfriend is cheating or not

5 replies

Chen99 · 16/06/2025 07:01

My bf and I live together. I went home for a month. We kept in touch every single day. I came back without telling him to give him a surprise to which he didn't even react anything. He didn't smile nor was shocked. When I came inside our room there was nothing suspicious or out of the ordinary. But then as I was laying down in bed there was a red long hair on the pillow and my hair is pitch black. I asked him who came over he said a guy friend came to meet him. Then I questioned him whose red hair was it. Then he said "It must've been his girlfriend she also came with him" which is weird because he didn't say anything about anyone's girlfriend... And he told me something very ridiculous "You would've been mad if I had told you a girl also came over" I mean why would I be mad when it's his friend's girlfriend?!
I don't know it all just feels iffy and I can't say he's cheating on me and I'm not sure he's not either.

OP posts:
DorothyStorm · 16/06/2025 07:07

It doesnt sound like he cares about you either way. Lying and not pleased to see you after a month? Dont settle for him anyway.

Divebar2021 · 16/06/2025 07:09

so he was entertaining friends in the bedroom? Does that seem very likely? Is that something you would typically do in your friendship group because I would find that unusual.

( if he has been unfaithful he didn’t even bother to change the sheets 🤢)

Sevenamcoffee · 16/06/2025 07:21

Yes the prevarication after asking about the hair suggests something fishy. And his reaction to you appearing. Sorry OP this is a difficult situation to be in, but I’d be wary.

Lurkingandlearning · 16/06/2025 07:39

He is probably cheating but he definitely wasn’t happy to see you back after a month. That’s enough reason to find someone who is glad to see you

jjpollypocket · 16/06/2025 23:22

would he usually entertain his friends (& their partners) in his bedroom? On his bed?
Very weird….

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