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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling awful/confused

5 replies

user1476340591 · 14/06/2025 23:04

So...I have been in a relationship for 5 years with my boyfriend. We aren't engaged/do not live together. I have always been friendly with my co worker but we are in a situationship now and have had sex once. Things cooled off (from him) but now he's being really sweet and messages me a lot. I feel bad, because I love my boyfriend but I also love this man. He's 20 years older than me...and no he isn't married/no kids etc. I have a 9 year old son, and he is the reason I stay with my boyfriend as his own dad is useless. If my boyfriend wasn't about my son would be really sad. I feel a terrible person loving 2 people at the same time! For reference, work guy knows about my boyfriend and doesn't care I have one. Should I cut all contact with this guy at work and focus on my relationship?

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 14/06/2025 23:08

No. Dump them both and work on your self-esteem.

Garfieldd · 14/06/2025 23:09

Your poor boyfriend. I don't think you love either. Boyfriend is convenient and new guy is just a novelty but new guy isn't into you so this all will end up in disaster

SmugglersHaunt · 14/06/2025 23:10

To echo the above point - you don’t deserve your boyfriend. If you’re looking for sympathy / a pat on the back here, good luck.

HaroldMeaker · 14/06/2025 23:12

Poor boyfriend! He deserves better.

Nicecuppatea2025 · 14/06/2025 23:22

“He is the reason I stay with my boyfriend as his own dad is useless“.

Give me strength. So you’re happy for him to play daddy, and the way you repay that is by shagging around. Grow up.

Leave him. Tomorrow.

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