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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Leaving abusive relationship

10 replies

Madhatterz · 07/06/2025 17:16

I am in the middle of getting plans in place to leave my abusive partner. The police are coming on Tuesdays for me to give a full statement. I am hoping to be able to discuss the events that have happened over the last 4 years.
if and when would they likely to arrest him?

we have also had a MARAC referral as well

any help and advice is appreciated

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 07/06/2025 17:20

Well done for getting rid of him. Stay strong.
I'm afraid I don't know the timeframe for arresting someone. I'm guessing they need to speak to him then make a decision, so if they know where he is and it's local I'd say it could be less than a day? But that really is a guess.

Are you somewhere safe right now?

I wish you the best and I'm sure your life will be so much better without him. X

Madhatterz · 07/06/2025 18:43

BobbyBiscuits · 07/06/2025 17:20

Well done for getting rid of him. Stay strong.
I'm afraid I don't know the timeframe for arresting someone. I'm guessing they need to speak to him then make a decision, so if they know where he is and it's local I'd say it could be less than a day? But that really is a guess.

Are you somewhere safe right now?

I wish you the best and I'm sure your life will be so much better without him. X

Edited

we are still living under the same roof, working with The police and IDVA and social services.
i’m hoping that once I’ve made the full police report and given photos of evidence and my statement that they will be able to arrest him and I’ll be able to get things in place to stop him from coming back to the house

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 07/06/2025 20:07

Madhatterz · 07/06/2025 18:43

we are still living under the same roof, working with The police and IDVA and social services.
i’m hoping that once I’ve made the full police report and given photos of evidence and my statement that they will be able to arrest him and I’ll be able to get things in place to stop him from coming back to the house

Thank you. The thing is just because he's arrested doesn't mean he'll be remanded in custody or even charged. Are you definitely safe under the same roof? I hope you have plenty of friends and family for support? X

Madhatterz · 07/06/2025 20:39

BobbyBiscuits · 07/06/2025 20:07

Thank you. The thing is just because he's arrested doesn't mean he'll be remanded in custody or even charged. Are you definitely safe under the same roof? I hope you have plenty of friends and family for support? X

Yes I don’t really have a choice I haven’t got anywhere else to go, the is a police marker on my phone number as well as my house, but at the moment things are calm.
i just hope the police are able to arrest him and I will be getting the locks changed the same day as well.
I do have a lot of photos and videos of evidence that should be in my favour.

OP posts:
flowerpink · 07/06/2025 20:45

As PP said and also to add, he'll probably at the very least be let out on bail, might be a good idea to organise somewhere else to stay but I do hope he doesn't x

Madhatterz · 07/06/2025 21:51

flowerpink · 07/06/2025 20:45

As PP said and also to add, he'll probably at the very least be let out on bail, might be a good idea to organise somewhere else to stay but I do hope he doesn't x

The problem is it’s my house and I own and pay mortgage myself, so it’s not like i can’t not live here, I can’t see the council helping out out with house if when I own one.

OP posts:
Coffeislife · 07/06/2025 22:18

Is he on any paper work ?

Madhatterz · 07/06/2025 23:14

Coffeislife · 07/06/2025 22:18

Is he on any paper work ?

Nope nothing!
he doesn’t give me a single penny towards anything

OP posts:
MeTooOverHere · 08/06/2025 00:14

Madhatterz · 07/06/2025 23:14

Nope nothing!
he doesn’t give me a single penny towards anything

So when they arrest him get locks changed immediately. He may only be gone for a few hours. Locks FIRST. Then if he tries to get back in, call the police.
Pack his stuff and put it outside. But change locks first.

N4ish · 08/06/2025 00:21

MeTooOverHere · 08/06/2025 00:14

So when they arrest him get locks changed immediately. He may only be gone for a few hours. Locks FIRST. Then if he tries to get back in, call the police.
Pack his stuff and put it outside. But change locks first.

This 100%. Can you get a safety order barring him from the house? Have to agree with previous posters that even if he is arrested he’s likely to be out on bail very soon.

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