Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Making love in bed and he can’t cum?

12 replies

TheRareHare · 03/04/2025 09:49

So me and my partner have been with eachother for 4 years and in the past we have had sex plenty of times not quite as frequently as how we do now as before I use to be quite insecure about my body so was always delaying it a bit but he would always always ‘cum’. I don’t know if I’m overthinking things but we broke up last yr for few months and got back together February but we’ve still been living with eachother. However in February he went out for a weekend and I didn’t hear from him that whole weekend over the phone when I tried to call as he didn’t want to speak to me but when we had sex after that my PH balance was completely thrown off, it was hot when I was going for a wee but that was gone after 6-7days.. now I’m not saying he’s cheated/slept with someone but I’m starting too feel a bit insecure now myself again because I’ve been more confident than ever from the past , I’ve been more intimate with him I’ve tried so much but just since then he’s been taking longer and longer to ejaculate too the point where I don’t feel like having sex anymore with him. He’s been having to pull out to finish himself off at some points, and then most times now it’s taken him over an hour and having to stop and go to sleep because it’s getting late and he just can’t ejaculate, he keeps sweating excessively saying it’s too hot it’s too hot and having to stop, last night it took an hour and a half he was sweating so much so stopped and I tried to turn back around he told me too stay facing the other way in doggy whilst he finishes himself off so I did but he just couldn’t finish …

sorry I hope this does make sense

OP posts:
Maitri108 · 03/04/2025 10:02

I would stop catering to him for a start, making you pose for over an hour is ridiculous. The world isn't going to end if he doesn't cum.

He should get checked out if this is a new thing.

BlondeMummyto1 · 03/04/2025 10:07

Is he overweight? Taking medication? How old?

My ex (very early 30s) couldn’t really cum either but guess what? He could when he was wanking on his own.

I don’t want to sound smug but I have a great body and I’m confident so I never thought of it as a me problem. He was so used to doing it himself that I think it’s the only way he could in the end.

BlondeMummyto1 · 03/04/2025 10:08

I think people on here call it the dead grip and porn. 100% spot on in my ex’s case.

TheRareHare · 03/04/2025 10:40

BlondeMummyto1 · 03/04/2025 10:07

Is he overweight? Taking medication? How old?

My ex (very early 30s) couldn’t really cum either but guess what? He could when he was wanking on his own.

I don’t want to sound smug but I have a great body and I’m confident so I never thought of it as a me problem. He was so used to doing it himself that I think it’s the only way he could in the end.

He doesn’t take any medication no and never has and is between 11-12 stone in weight and 28yrs old, he did put on quiet a bit of weight before but is losing that all now and becoming more healthier id say so dont really understand. I do ask him but he says he gets too hot he’s sweating too much but yes of course your going to get too hot for going so so long

OP posts:
TheRareHare · 03/04/2025 10:42

BlondeMummyto1 · 03/04/2025 10:08

I think people on here call it the dead grip and porn. 100% spot on in my ex’s case.

What’s the dead grip sorry? And I do need to ask him if he’s been watching porn tbh but don’t know if he’ll admit it 🤷‍♀️😂

OP posts:
BlondeMummyto1 · 03/04/2025 11:37

TheRareHare · 03/04/2025 10:42

What’s the dead grip sorry? And I do need to ask him if he’s been watching porn tbh but don’t know if he’ll admit it 🤷‍♀️😂

It’s when they can only cum by gripping their hand around and wanking like a mad man 😂

Maitri108 · 03/04/2025 11:44

TheRareHare · 03/04/2025 10:42

What’s the dead grip sorry? And I do need to ask him if he’s been watching porn tbh but don’t know if he’ll admit it 🤷‍♀️😂

It's because men have a firm grip when masturbating. They become used to the firm grip and desensitised to PIV sex.

mondaytosunday · 03/04/2025 11:48

The sweating and getting very hot to that extent sounds like something physical is going on. He needs a check up at the GP.
Stop blaming yourself. This is definitely his issue and no reflection on you.

Stagshear · 03/04/2025 12:02

When he lost the weight has he been taking medication of steroids to get fit?

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 03/04/2025 12:06

I must say that sounds awfully unattractive... I'm not sure I could watch my DP wank and sweat for an hour!

Doggymummar · 03/04/2025 12:10

Sounds grim. I would suggest a drs appointment and if he refuses breakup. Life's too short for crap sex

MsCactus · 03/04/2025 12:58

Another one who thinks this is due to porn and the death grip

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread