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Help me make sense of this

13 replies

MeadowTea · 26/03/2025 21:37

I very rarely go on DH phone , but asked after dinner as my phone was dead and had to quickly check something that I had to bring to work for tomorrow via email. He was busy putting kids to bed upstairs. I finished sorting what I needed for work so I quickly went on photos as I like to look and see old baby photos of DC stored on his phone.

To my surprise a picture of a naked woman was saved on ‘recently added’ section of photos. What’s weird is the date at the top was April 2012. It also had an arrow pointing down with a timer icon on it. Dates of when photos are taken are shown on the top, but this photo was saved in 2012, but at the same time was in the recently added section? I also quickly saw before he came down that the photo (which seemed to be from a porn site) was saved from DuckDuckGo.

Porn is a big no in our marriage, and we’ve been having intimacy issues for a very long time. I thought we were in a better place now though so have no idea why that photo was on there. I once accidentally saw ‘web cam chat’ thing come up on his computer years ago. He said it must have been one of those pop up things that come up as he was using music forum and guys sometimes post things like that, or it’s sometimes on there. Now I’m beginning to wonder if that was true.

I don’t know if he’s saved naked photos of women in a secret place as it’s from 2012 , which he decided to download and forgot to delete. Photos can’t just accidentally appear on a phone? He must have gone to a porn site, and downloaded it or been sent it from someone? It doesn’t make sense to me. He doesn’t know I’ve seen it, and I left it on there.

OP posts:
BeerAndMusic · 27/03/2025 01:50

The photo could have been taken in 2012 but saved yesterday - either put on from another device or downloaded. The pop up could well be true, sometimes inappropriate stuff can pop up although that used to be more common a while back, these days pop up blockers tend to minimise that, although its normally adult sites that would prompt this, not music ones.

It sounds like he has accessed porn and definitely saved one image, but that in itself seems weird. Why one? Surely with porn you would want lots more. How naked was the woman - was it a standing naked pic from a reasonable distance or a close up of other bits, was it just naked or sexual?

It could have been something that was sent in WA by a friend and his settings save that to photos (I have that turned off) so it could also be innocent.

jubs15 · 27/03/2025 07:27

I discovered recently that on Android phones there is a way of hiding apps you don't want others to see (why would they make this a feature?). It's not something I've looked into, but if you can hide folders etc too, then maybe he's had such photos all along and just got careless about where he saved/moved that one.

Easterbunnygettingsorted · 27/03/2025 07:37

You should have saved it as his screen saver.....

MeadowTea · 27/03/2025 08:48

I couldn’t sleep , and got up 4am. I’m in a separate room with youngest. Was curious to see if photo was deleted, or left on there. I can imagine if accidental download, or if it came from a music forum (what I imagine him to say) he wouldn’t know as doesn’t go on photos much as it’s 99% pics of kids.

I looked at his phone whilst he was sleeping as I don’t care at this rate, and saw the photo was deleted, and deleted photos section emptied. Not only that, but saw he asked a question on ChatGPT that said, ‘Why have photos I deleted appeared in my recent days on my iPhone?’

Sounds like he downloads or screen shots pics he likes from porn websites doesn’t it?

The picture was of a woman’s very large breasts looking directly at camera. It had a date 2013 at top which confused me, and writing at bottom (looked like a porn site). It’s the type of thing he is into (very large breasts) which I don’t have. I’ve been in a sexless marriage, but he always claimed to like me as I am. He was very cuddly , affectionate and wanted to have ‘us time’ last night funny enough. Now I’m thinking does he use these pictures to get himself in the mood as I always felt he wasn’t that into me.

He was totally normal this morning, didn’t say a word of ‘something weird came on my phone last night’ which he would tell me about, which makes me think he’s been secretive, and lying this whole time. He told me he never goes on porn websites. He doesn’t care for it.

OP posts:
MeadowTea · 27/03/2025 08:50

Sorry I meant 2012

OP posts:
CazJK · 27/03/2025 08:51

He has been using it to wank over I expect. Gross, sorry OP.

TY78910 · 27/03/2025 10:41

OP, you’ve gone in to a spiral, checking ChatGPT for a history of searches? It’s a lot. Finding out where the picture came from, dates etc.

It was a porn photo, it was disrespectful to be saved but it’s done now. You can be upset about it but honestly you have bigger issues here than a photo of a booby woman - the lack of intimacy is something you need to work on in your marriage to make you feel more secure and desired.

FloydPink · 27/03/2025 14:51

Whenever I get one of those dodgy friend requests on FB which is a teen/young woman spamming I always show my partner and have a laugh, just in case she was to think I was befriending single women. Same with any dodgy junk emails or anything.

MeadowTea · 01/04/2025 15:08

I had a feeling to keep my
mouth shut, and do some more digging before asking him. I found typed last night . My head is spinning. What could that mean? Forum? Live chat cam? Yes I am that clueless about such things.

OP posts:
MeadowTea · 01/04/2025 15:08

Sorry deleted. I found typed freechatnow that should read

OP posts:
TY78910 · 01/04/2025 15:51

MeadowTea · 01/04/2025 15:08

I had a feeling to keep my
mouth shut, and do some more digging before asking him. I found typed last night . My head is spinning. What could that mean? Forum? Live chat cam? Yes I am that clueless about such things.

Well that changes everything my friend… LTB.

MeadowTea · 01/04/2025 15:59

Is it a live chat video?? I feel like this can’t be real.

OP posts:
TY78910 · 01/04/2025 16:07

MeadowTea · 01/04/2025 15:59

Is it a live chat video?? I feel like this can’t be real.

I don’t know exactly but from what comes up on google it’s a sex chat service. Whether video or not, it’s entirely irrelevant. It won’t be escorts, more likeminded people, not that escorts would make it any better - just more of a one time thing.

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