Smoking- Giving an ultimatum or just walk away

[Sundaycoffee]

My boyfriend smoked for years (cigarettes) and had quit before I met him a year ago. Since then he has taken up vaping which I really hate (I know some say it's not as bad) I would never had started dating him had he been a smoker when we met.
I have told him I don't like the vaping and he has told me he will be quitting soon. This was January and still no sign of it slowing down.
I think if I just broke up with him for this out of the blue he would be really surprised as ive only mentioned it in passing a couple of times, but I also don't want to have to keep nagging him or provide an ultimatum. Everything else in the relationship is great and he is a wonderful man but it's making me worry about his health, how long this will go on for and I hate the vapey breath smell!
Do I need to sit down and have a "serious" chat about it?

I also hate the vapey breath smell/taste. Not my partner but someone close to me vapes and I am amazed at how similar it is to tobacco in the way it makes their breath smell. I had hoped it was not going to be like the residual smell of cigarette smoke on people's breath, but actually it's almost as bad. Very sickly and cloying and unpleasant.

Have you actually told him you find it really horrible and it's putting you off kissing and being intimate?

I think if you are not being completely frank to save hurting his feelings then he'll think your concerns are just health based and you are being a bit of a controlling busybody. He probably thinks that's his risk to take and he will stop in his own time because it really doesn't affect you. Except it does. So he needs to know that.

The only way to really get him to listen is to be completely blunt and honest. Say 'Look, I'm sorry to say this but I really can't bear the sickly stench of our vape breath and it's putting me off having sex and being physically affectionate. I find it nauseating. Sorry if that's hard to hear but it's how I feel and I am done with not voicing it to save your feelings. It's becoming a deal breaker for me. If this is going to work between us then I need you to stop please.'

If that doesn't galvanise him into stopping for you then nothing will and you may as well call it a day. I know it's an addiction, but nicotine patches are very effective, as is the Allen Carr method (book/podcast etc) so it's not like there aren't things he could try. People get very comfortable with vaping because they think it's less risky and less anti-social in comparison to cigarettes. Well it may be, but it's still giving you minging breath matey.

Vaping is very different to smokingý- vaping has little impact on other people , your clothes don’t smell. Your breath doesn’t and after a few seconds the smoke you breathe out vaporises and is no longer noticeable in the room or your surroundings.

That's not entirely true. You'd like to think vaping doesn't make your breath smell, but trust me, as someone who is around a vaper I can tell you it does. And it's not a bad breath smell, it's a very specific vaping smell not all that different to smoking. It's a cloying sickly smell that is like nothing else. All lifelong non-smokers who have spent a lot of time around smokers will know the smell I mean. I think smokers and vapers just can't recognise it on themselves or on other people.

Vaping is more irritating than smoking I think. The constant sucking on it and the little twirl pat dance if it's not in their hands. At least with smoking it's outside and there are gaps in-between it.

If it's your deal breaker it's your deal breaker. He's not going to stop. He misses the hand mouth action and I've not known anyone to be able to do without it.

You're joking aren't you? It's constant. Theres a constant fug in the air around a vaper. Plumes wafting around you because people cant keep them out of their mouths. Thinking it doesn't is deluding yourself.

OP, sad though I am to say so, I agree wholeheartedly with @Ponderingwindow.