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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Who to believe ?

27 replies

Rita44 · 19/02/2025 21:05

I’m so confused I’ve been with my partner 10 months and about 2 months ago my son told me he saw my partner in town on his scooter with another woman who was blonde.
The evening it happened my partner told me he wasn’t sure we’d be able to meet up as he may have his daughter over. Anyway my son phoned me and told me what he saw then 20 minutes later I got. a text from my partner telling me that he’d taken his daughter for a ride on the scooter.
My son won’t let it go and is persuaded about what he saw and when I queried my partner at the time he laughed it off as if it was incredulous.

OP posts:
Shubbypubby · 19/02/2025 21:18

How old is your son? Is usually true truthful? Does he dislike your partner? More context needed. On the face of it it sounds like your son is telling the truth.

FetchezLaVache · 19/02/2025 21:19

Did your boyfriend volunteer the information that he'd taken his daughter for a ride on his scooter before you mentioned your son had seen him with a woman on the back of his scooter?

Does his daughter have blond hair?

Does your son dislike your boyfriend?

If the answer to the above three questions is yes, I think it's mystery solved.

Lostworlds · 19/02/2025 21:19

Has your son seen a picture of met your partners daughter? That way he can confirm if it was really her.

It seems a bit coincidental that your partner text you that not long after your son seen, to me it feels like he’s covering his back.

I’m married but if i was being accused of being with someone else and risking my relationship then id probably feel worried and want to resolve the situation, not just laugh it off.

Shubbypubby · 19/02/2025 21:19

How old is his daughter? Could be mistaken for a woman/is a woman? Does your son know what his daughter looks like?

astl · 19/02/2025 21:19

Has your son said it definitely wasn't your DPs daughter he was with?

If your DS is sure it wasn't her then I'd believe your son

category12 · 19/02/2025 21:21

Well, if the daughter is an adult blonde woman that your son wouldn't know, no-one is lying.

Rita44 · 19/02/2025 21:23

His daughter is 13 and had light brown hair. My son liked him when he met him but had only met him once

OP posts:
Rita44 · 19/02/2025 21:24

And yes my partner volunteered the information before I mentioned anything

OP posts:
astl · 19/02/2025 21:25

Rita44 · 19/02/2025 21:24

And yes my partner volunteered the information before I mentioned anything

Did your partner know your son saw him?

TomatoSandwiches · 19/02/2025 21:25

Maybe your partner saw your son and thought he'd get his version in to you first.
But odd to randomly text you he took his daughter for a scooter ride.

I think you should leave him for having a scooter tbh, unattractive.

GreyAreas · 19/02/2025 21:33

I'd trust your son.

Rita44 · 19/02/2025 21:49

astl · 19/02/2025 21:25

Did your partner know your son saw him?

No

OP posts:
Circumferences · 19/02/2025 21:54

How old is your son?
A 13 year old on the back of a scooter (I'm guessing a 50cc bike type thing) presumably wearing a helmet and jacket would have her face obscured and could easily be mistaken for a grown up.

This sounds so silly.
Why don't you trust your boyfriend? I could not get bet up over this and I'd assume my son got it wrong.

Circumferences · 19/02/2025 21:55

^ het up

Rita44 · 19/02/2025 21:57

yes I agree but he was adamant she was blonde

OP posts:
CuteEasterBunny · 19/02/2025 22:02

I would believe my child over anyone else. Why would he make it up? He was only saying it in a matter of fact way I presume.

nodramaplz · 19/02/2025 22:11

Rita44 · 19/02/2025 21:57

yes I agree but he was adamant she was blonde

Can you ask to see a bank statement? See what he paid for Rusty day?
Or is the relationship too fresh?

Rita44 · 19/02/2025 22:14

and Something else I received a message from an unknown number saying I love you. I put a question mark and then a few hours later my partner told me he’d texted me with his daughters SIM card as they’d exchanged cards she’d gone abroad and he has international calls with his card. Weird ?

OP posts:
CuteEasterBunny · 19/02/2025 22:43

I couldn’t be arsed with the guessing games.

category12 · 19/02/2025 22:56

Rita44 · 19/02/2025 22:14

and Something else I received a message from an unknown number saying I love you. I put a question mark and then a few hours later my partner told me he’d texted me with his daughters SIM card as they’d exchanged cards she’d gone abroad and he has international calls with his card. Weird ?

Yes weird and I also could not be arsed with it. He's obviously shady AF.

mdinbc · 19/02/2025 23:00

I think I would take your son's word.

healthybychristmas · 19/02/2025 23:04

Trust your son. This guy is hedging his bets all over the place. Chances are very high that he saw your son in the area and gave you that excuse quickly.

Dotty87 · 20/02/2025 00:04

Rita44 · 19/02/2025 22:14

and Something else I received a message from an unknown number saying I love you. I put a question mark and then a few hours later my partner told me he’d texted me with his daughters SIM card as they’d exchanged cards she’d gone abroad and he has international calls with his card. Weird ?

Burner/spare phone.

astl · 20/02/2025 12:18

healthybychristmas · 19/02/2025 23:04

Trust your son. This guy is hedging his bets all over the place. Chances are very high that he saw your son in the area and gave you that excuse quickly.

This. Plus he has a 2nd phone that he's lying about

GreyAreas · 20/02/2025 19:15

He has every incentive to lie to you if he's a lying cheating scumbag. That SIM card excuse is 🙄. Does he think you were born yesterday.