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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mother in law doesn’t listen

11 replies

DaringBird23 · 10/02/2025 21:35

Hello

i am having a serious dilemma with my mother in law past 16 months. When she eats with her fingers she licks them afterwards and use those same fingers to feed my daughter. She has severe gum disease and majority of her teeth have cavities. You could literally see visible black marks on her teeth.

On the other hand, her near sight is very weak and she also had her cataract surgery done and was told by doctors to wear her near sight glasses, but she does not listen. Everytime I go in kitchen there are marks on counter from her cooking as well the drawers are super oily to the fact its hard to even touch them. She doesn’t even clean dishes properly despite the fact that I am always seeing her standing at the sink and washing dishes all the time.

I have separated my dishes and made some space for myself in the kitchen, but how do I tell her to stop using same fingers to feed my daughter and that she needs to wear her glasses. She is stressing me out and I am super anxious from inside as to how I can explain to her that she needs to stop.

I don’t know what to do as I am getting super tired. I do home groceries, clean home, laundry, working part-time, take care of my baby, etc. I don’t need anymore stress in my life.

OP posts:
mnahmnah · 10/02/2025 21:37

It sounds like she lives with you? Is this temporary?

Iwiicit · 10/02/2025 21:39

Yeah, why is she feeding your daughter, cooking and doing washing up. Is it your house or hers?

DaringBird23 · 10/02/2025 21:41

mnahmnah · 10/02/2025 21:37

It sounds like she lives with you? Is this temporary?

Yes she does and no its not temporary.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 10/02/2025 21:42

Whose house is it?

DaringBird23 · 10/02/2025 21:44

Iwiicit · 10/02/2025 21:39

Yeah, why is she feeding your daughter, cooking and doing washing up. Is it your house or hers?

We are currently renting and its no one’s house.

OP posts:
KiwiOtter · 10/02/2025 21:46

Why aren’t you feeding your daughter?

Wolfiefan · 10/02/2025 21:47

So don’t rent together. Get your own place.

DaringBird23 · 10/02/2025 21:48

KiwiOtter · 10/02/2025 21:46

Why aren’t you feeding your daughter?

I do feed her, but at times I have other responsibilities that I need to fulfill. I manage the home and if I don’t then the whole system is going to get messed.

OP posts:
Seaoftroubles · 10/02/2025 21:49

Why are you living together? I would be looking to to live separately then the problem is solved.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 10/02/2025 21:52

Get her to move out.

mnahmnah · 10/02/2025 21:54

DaringBird23 · 10/02/2025 21:48

I do feed her, but at times I have other responsibilities that I need to fulfill. I manage the home and if I don’t then the whole system is going to get messed.

Are there other issues here? You say managing the home and responsibilities get in the way of feeding your daughter?

ETA what system?

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