What did you relationship look like after 12 months if you have older DC?

[FernandJasminethekittens]

I've been seeing someone for about a year but last night he was asking about my plans for Halloween and as he wouldn't be able to see me, asked me to send photos so he could feel a bit more included in my life with my children.

He wants children/is getting broody but I don't feel like I want any more children as mine are now teenagers but was just wondering whether I might be taking things too slowly as we don't see each other very often.

How involved was your boyfriend/partner with your family life at around the year mark?

Mine had met my dc by then but never stayed overnight with her there. I would find it odd to be asked for photos “to feel more included”. Asking to come along would feel a Bit different to asking for photos. Especially of your kids- that feels a bit off.

Seems like you both want different things? Other people's experiences are irrelevant here really. You don't want anymore kids and he does - needs to be discussed fully between you and decide what kind of future you both want.

Oh, yeah he says he's happy with me so the kids thing he can live with.

It's just the last few days he's been dropping hints about not having children or a family of his own so would like to feel a bit more included in mine. I do keep him at arms length, to be fair. Try and keep him and my family life separate.

He has met my children a few times briefly but I don't want to progress the relationship in the direction of him coming round more often or anything, whereas I think if it was left up to him he'd be here every day.

But we only really see each other once every 10 days, sometimes we'll have weeks where it's more like a few times on one week but I keep allowing it to slip back to once every ten days or so.

Maybe the two of you need a conversation about how you see things progressing. If he wants a bit more of you but you only want to see him every couple of weeks, one of you is going to end up unhappy.

You need to make sure you have the same wants to be honest. It doesn't sound like you do at all regarding children as well