Onlyfans - can someone explain how this actually works?

[namechang3758]

Husband was acting suspiciously with his phone, switching to a new app every time I walked past. I saw a blue screen.

A couple of years ago we had issues where he had been using crypto / investing in secret, and also using OnlyFans. We went to marriage counselling.

Anyway I checked his email inbox on our shared computer and saw he'd deleted various emails from OnlyFans which were receipts for payments for stuff.

Without judgement (I'm feeling pretty rubbish and panicky) can anyone just tell me how OnlyFans works please? I don't want to login and look. His emails said that someone called something like hotwife or something had subscribed to his profile - what does that even mean? If he has a profile is he making content?!! Or does everyone have a profile? There were also numerous small payments which I assume were for videos or "content". I would like to know what he's got on there but not sure if I can look?

In the past when we had problems he told me how he had used it - like porn but a more exciting version he said, to watch naked women doing stuff. He said he knew it was fake and there were loads of other men watching and paying at the same time. Our sex life was down the drain at the time but it's no excuse. He said he used it as effectively wsnk fodder.

Anyway once again I ask for kindness. I don't need to be told about how disrespectful it is but I'm just looking to find out what I'm actually dealing with here before I work out my next steps.

I know you said OP you don't want to be told it's disrespectful but honestly your DH is cheating on you: he is getting sexual gratification from other women. And he has history for doing this and you have " forgiven" him. So he has taken that as a green light to do it again.

Does it really matter how it works?He is paying women to do specific sexual acts for his enjoyment. Surely that is enough for you to end your relationship. Or else you will need to decide you are OK to live with him cheating on you in this way.

I’ve been in a similar position and wanted all the facts. Now when I reflect back I wish I had asked myself what my boundaries are first and what is acceptable to me and what absolutely isn’t and all the grey areas in between. It would have made what I found out a bit easier to digest and any decisions I had to make. It’s such a sick feeling I know. Even now I have a little voice that says it’s normalised now, this kind of behaviour and it probably is but whether it’s acceptable to each individual is another matter and we are all different in how we think of that. I felt so betrayed on such a personal level as a woman that I couldn’t forget how it shook me and how it made me feel. I can’t answer your specific question but hoping to fortify you a little in what you will uncover and as to how you want to deal with it.

Watch Olivia Attwood : Getting filthy rich on ITV X series 1 episode 1

Thanks. Really just looking for answers. Does anyone know what it means if he's got a profile or is that what everyone has?

https://getsby.com/en/creator-platform/how-does-onlyfans-work-for-subscribers/
Don't know if this is helpful OP

He’ll have an account in order to use the site but it’ll likely be blank or minimally filled out.

Then he either subscribes monthly to a OF woman’s account which will allow him
to see her regular posts. Or he pays for individual videos or photo bundles listed on her page.

There might be 10 or 10000 other men buying the same thing. So it’s not as personal as if he’s bought a dance at a strip club for example.

However if he has got deeper into it, he might have paid the OF woman to record custom videos for him, do what he asks her to do, use his name etc.

Those will have cost a lot more money though and you would notice the big transactions.

He could have paid for video calls with the woman too, which again would be expensive. If she’s someone famous this won’t be possible, but it likely would be available for a price with a lot of women’s OF accounts.

Thanks this is helpful. He seems to have made smallish transactions of around $15 at a time. There was one transaction for $45.

An email said that one of his chosen "women" had followed his profile - I wasn't sure what that meant or why one of the women would do that.

I think you need to log in and look OP otherwise you'll always be wondering exactly what was there. At least then you can make a properly informed decision.

Sorry to say but your H is a fucking scumbag. Yuck.

I don't know how to login and don't want him to be alerted. Nor do I particularly wish to see that stuff. I just want to know, roughly what I'm dealing with.

Going through my mind is:

Is he viewing live porn?
Is he speaking to people?
Is he conducting some sort of affair?
Is he posting photos or videos himself?

Yuck. He's basically interacting with a sex worker.

It’s hard to answer other than in general terms. But it sounds like he hasn’t spent much, so he won’t be important to these women and they won’t give him any one on one time.

Though the site is a pyramid, with the majority of women making little money and giving up. So it could be he’s found a new / struggling account where the women does respond directly to him.

He won’t be viewing live streams on OnlyFans, it’s pre recorded.

He’s very unlikely to be having live cyber sex, one on one, with an OF woman. I don’t think the platform supports it. Though I think some women sell access to their SnapChat or WhatsApp or Telegram so they could be communicating more directly there.

Really you’d need access to his banking to see exactly what he’s been up to. Even then some guys get hold of virtual credit cards to hide their activities.

It definitely feels like a form of infidelity to me. Even if he still uses porn the secrecy is very bad. He could also be getting obsessed with a particular OF woman.

Hello,
I am a male and have experience with the onlyfans app/website. From what I saw no one actually gave you an answer and everyone just did that you very politely asked no one to do. So I hope I can help I will attempt to answer your questions and there's a way for you to ask questions further I will do my best to answer. So here goes.

Q:What is an only fans account?

A: Anyone who wants to use onlyfans must make an account and once that account is made you can create your own content to "sell" on thr account but the account can simply be used to interact with only fans. I would be doubtful your husband is creating content, he is simply using it as a way to view other people created content. UNLESS the small payments you are speaking of were being paid to your husband. If that is the case then yes, he probably has content so for the sake of understanding I will do my best to explain how only fans works and how most men use it.

Q: What is onlyfans? What type of things can you do if you are using onlyfans NOT as a creator?

A: It's very simple for the most part. Onlyfans is a platform that allows anyone to post pictures and videos for others to see for a price. This price is determined a few ways to give the creators more control over how they allow their content to be viewed. The main way is a monthly subscription which can be set by the account holder and csn start (i think) at $5.00 a month and goes up to somewhere like $50.00 or so a month. Some people also make subscribing free and it's because of how the other parts work. Once subscribed you have access to whatever that person has posted (pictures and videos) on their account.
I have noticed that when subscribing to an account that person's account automatically subscribes or "follows" the account that just subscribed. So in your husbands case this person who subscribed to him is (probably) the person who he paid to subscribe to. I think this is a feature to make some men feel like "oh cool they subscribed back" and probably try to make them feel special when obviously that's not the case. But it'll probably make some idiots spend more money.
People can then leave tips on these pictures and videos (I guess as a way to show they liked that particular thing but is not required to view content)

With all that being said there is another way that creators can get money. And almost every person who makes money through onlyfans uses this as the main way to generate income. Most profiles will have a list of options that someone can choose from that will have different prices and those prices will be attached to certain things like "if you want to see this video i just made of me doing XYZ then tip me x amount of money and I will send the video to your inbox for you to view" many people also will take personal requests for a video to be made and depending on what an individual is asking for that will determine the amount that the individual creator decides to charge and if both parties agree then a payment can be made and then the Creator usually makes a video for that individual. Most people who are creating videos of doing so just to create Revenue and any conversations that go on a normally just to try and sound flirty or engaging so that the person will want to spend more money because they probably feel like that person is making something special for them or maybe even cares for them in some way.

I know that was a lot and I'm sorry I'm not great at explaining things and a shorter way but that's pretty much how only fans Works to my knowledge.
I do not know you and I'm not going to judge or make any assumptions about your marriage but I will say this because I am a male and maybe something I say could help with any discussion you may end up having.
I am not married but have been in plenty of relationships and I am not somebody who frequently watches porn and I only ever subscribed to one person on only fans and then unsubscribed like a week later. Most men have urges to watch porn and a lot of men probably use only fans just because they are attracted to an individual and then basically it's just like any porn star on any website there is no relationship connection there. Some men struggle with urges to view this type of stuff more than others where some men like myself use it on occasion and if I get into a relationship I usually have no interest and viewing any sort of pornography if whoever I am in a relationship with and I are engaging sexually on a normal basis. Most men and women once married tend to stop engaging sexually after a period of time not because they don't like each other obviously but that's just how humans are and most men will start viewing pornography whenever they feel like they want to take care of a sexual urges and in most cases it's not because the man is not still in love with his wife or find her attractive but just because pornography makes it easy to (I'm just going to be blunt here) masturbate to and finish successfully. And once done we are moving on and whatever we just watched has no affect on what we do moving forward meaning whatever porn video I just watched I am not feeling attracted or in love with the person in it I could care less I'm done what I used it for now I'm moving on. Now I think it is very important for people who are in a relationship to speak about this type of thing and voice their opinion and if the woman says that she is against her boyfriend or husband viewing this type of content and they agree then I think they should stick to that. But I think saying that he is cheating on you because he is viewing someone else naked so that he can jerk off is a little silly because that is very different from actually having a relationship with somebody else because I highly doubt he gives a crap about that person but just once to get a sexual release. I'm going to be honest though if I am in a relationship I would not be going on only fans at all whether or not I wanted to masturbate to something. Only fans accounts are usually not something you can just scroll through on the app you have to have found that person's Instagram or some other type of social media to get the link to the only fans and that is where I can see how a woman would consider it being like cheating because they're actively searching out a specific person. Now this definitely depends heavily on the individual but for most men looking for something to masturbate too if they find a woman who they are attracted to online somewhere and they are advertising a link to their only fans then most men if it follows through with that but most likely just doing so because they find that person attractive thus meaning they can masturbate to it easily and they don't have any feelings for that person in a way I would consider the way I feel about someone I would be in a relationship with. However there are a lot of weirdos out there and I'm sure some of them find women and obsess over them on these types of platforms and .
I cannot speak for those types of people

If you love your husband and you think he loves you too then absolutely without a doubt confront him about the only fans information you have found because you deserve to get an explanation from him as to why he feels he needs to do something like that and if he can be honest with you then hopefully you both can move past this because this world is really shitty and if you can actually find someone that you care about and they care about you too let me tell you that is not an easy thing to come by and I really wish that I could have found someone the care enough about me rather than cheating on me whenever they got the chance to the point that I become jaded to it all. So don't let other people convince you that he does not love you because he is trying to get off sexually to some random person naked video talk to him and find out why he feels like he needs to do these things. If he wants to have sex but you don't ever want to have sex then he is going to want to find a way to take care of those urges. If he doesn't ever want to have sex but is viewing this type of content then find out what the fuck his problem is because if he has a wife who is willing to have sex with him but he would rather watch porn then that is a problem that you both need to deal with but mainly that he needs to deal with and get over because there's no reason why he shouldn't be having sex with his wife.

I know this was very long and I highly doubt you read it all. Hell you may not even come back to view this thread and see this response in which case fuck it I just wasted whatever amount of time I spent explaining all that but hopefully I help you get the answers you were looking for and I really hope you and your husband can work it out together because having somebody that actually cares about you is a really awesome thing that should not be taken for granted. Good luck and stand strong on the things you feel are important but don't forget to be open to the things he may feel is important assuming those things are within reason.

And to anyone else who isn't the OP I honestly don't give a shit about your opinions if something I said offend somebody then don't bother commenting to try to prove a point to me because I will not even see it or read it so you'd be wasting your time the only person I will reply to will be the OP if they have any further questions on what their original question was about or any of the things I said while trying to help explain it.

☮️.♥️.🎶.
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We can so tell you are a male PP because you haven't bothered to read the previous answers that do explain before showing off your superior knowledge

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