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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner and home life

7 replies

Orchard11 · 24/09/2024 12:08

Well here I go its a bit long been with partner 12 yrs get Wed soon hes always changing jobs he's had 30 plus in 12 year honestly I.have lost track totally latest one been off 3 week ? We go in holiday soon he was going to provide spending money that's obviously not happening..I.have savings which he classes as ours all he's put into hol is 2 grand which was given to.him anyway by a relative so its all down to me as usual ..my bank account was getting built up I was actually out of my overdraft but am.well and truly back in it now he's supposed to b back to work after our hols not sure it will happen then going on a course so can get diff job course I will b paying for ..when hes in work he does give me money but when.not working won't even consider going in dole so I pay for everything rowed yesterday rowed today I am.just fed up totally I love the bones of him but am so sick

OP posts:
Ximi · 24/09/2024 17:28

Why do you want to marry someone who doesn't want to contribute financially?

sorrynotathome · 24/09/2024 17:30

You're complaining about having £2,000 spending money? Weird.

DeliciousApples · 24/09/2024 17:36

He needs to pull his weight.

What's your financial situation? Do you work?

TheCatterall · 24/09/2024 17:42

He’s shown you what he’s like.
he’s shown you he isn’t reliable.
he’s shown you he expects you to pick up the financial pieces.

do not tie yourself with marriage to this man and give him more control over your finances. He will drain you of finance and energy over time.

Do you have children yet? You know he won’t magically step up and become the father/partner any of you deserve.

give him an ultimatum. He sorts his shit out and sticks with a job or he leaves and lives at his own place and manages his own money. You are basically a cash cow allowing his lifestyle and behaviour right now.

massive squishes - and good luck!.

pinkyredrose · 24/09/2024 17:44

Don't marry him. Is the house in your name?

poppyzbrite4 · 24/09/2024 17:48

Stop paying for him OP. Let him live on benefits and get chased by the DWP to get a job. Tell him that any money you spend on him on holiday you expect back and he pays for himself when you return.

Pumpkinpie1 · 24/09/2024 17:49

You really are a glutton for punishment.
Hes a lazy drifter who won’t change. He lives off and borrows from other - probably without paying back .
A complete waste of space . He’s not changed in 12 years he won’t change now.
Stop being a mug and leave this grifter

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