Not sure what to make of this. DM and I have a slightly strained relationship but generally it’s ok. She and DSD live 3 hours from us and travel lots so we see them maybe 4-5 times a year. Since we got married DH and I alternate xmas between my DM/ DSD and DPIL (something my DM was very unhappy about). We then see whoever we aren’t seeing for Xmas usually a few days later or at new year. Last year was DPIL year and I upset DM for not explicitly inviting them to stay after Xmas (I thought it was implicit that we’d see them after as usual but apparently not). Apologised etc and we ended up going to theirs after Xmas and had a nice time. We last saw them at end July for a weekend and everything all fine, they are currently abroad for 5 weeks and not back til early oct.
Conscious of not making the same mistake again this year I have invited DM and DSD for Xmas at ours. We have 3 young DC so like to be at home. DM responded thanks for the invite but she thinks they’re just going to stay at home this year…
Honestly don’t know what to make of it. Having made so much fuss in the past about spending Xmas and being territorial about it, now she doesn’t want to come and see us and her DGC.
Her reason was that Xmas is for us to be a family but this doesn’t ring true for me. We have loads of day to day family time, weekends, holidays etc. and Xmas has always been about seeing DGP and family etc. When we do see them she is all over the GC and seems to have a good time. They are in good health and travel abroad so I can’t believe it’s that they don’t want to travel to us (she also didn’t counter with any offer to go to theirs instead).
I’ve left it open saying they’re welcome, kids would love to see them etc. but I’m not going to beg them to come. Can’t work out if that’s what she wants me to do or if she’s just playing emotional games?! Entirely possible she will change her mind but given she would know it was their “turn” for Xmas she would have been expecting the invite. Also it’s not like they have other family to see at Xmas - I’m an only child so if they don’t come to us they will be spending it on their own.
Feeling a bit sad about it, obvs if she doesn’t want to come that’s up to them but hard to understand why. Our kids are at a lovely age for Xmas (7, 5, 2) so we have all the Santa magic, present excitement etc. Would welcome any perspectives on it.