Sex life - what sex life?!!

[Youthiswastedontheyoung]

I try hard to initiate and be spontaneous but husband not interested. No idea what to do? Together 7 years, married 3. I'm early 40s, hubby late 40s. He does have medical issues but uses that as an excuse all too readily!
Should I just accept this is the way things are?

Does he have no sex drive whatsoever? How does he react if you try and get amorous?! It's bad form to be turning you down all the time.

@LaraThot Ocassionally - perhaps once or twice a month? Only when he wants it, not really when I do. Feels like an effort.

Well how serious are his health issues? Maybe they’re impacting him more than you think.

I couldn’t live with this - but it’s a personal thing.

If you can’t, you will have to explain to him your marriage is failing and what does he want to do about it - counselling, separation, open marriage? Before you have this conversation you need to know what you want and have plans A and B in place.

Have you / he put on a load of weight?

What health issues? Have you ever had what you consider a decent sex life?

So not a total freeze out then. Gives some hope! Is his medical issue ED?

No. Back related. But I do think he uses this as a "get out clause" at times. I put on weight since our daughter (four now) but not loads.
I don't think he sees it as important. Perhaps I shouldn't either?

@theduchessofspork He would never agree to an open marriage.