Bf of 11 years visited brothel and we have a 8 month old baby

[Bubblebubble90]

My boyfriend who I love very much has cheated on me, we never had any problems with our sex life or cheating ever. We struggled for years to have a baby but finally had everything we wanted after I had our son late last year. Anyway he went away for stag weekend and see on his location he visited a brothel what do I do? I’ve confronted him said went with his mate and couldn’t go through with it (which I’m not stupid I don’t believe for a second) I would be gone already if wasn’t for our baby I feel like his trapped me and done this to me now I have his child. I’m hurt angry feel utterly worthless that at a time when yes sex wasn’t the best but wasn’t non existent- we had sex the day before he left! His completely betrayed me and has destroyed everything we have built?! What should I do?

Split up with him.

Be thankful you're not married.

there’s been problems

you just haven’t been aware of them or chose to ignore

but now very evident to you

we never had any problems with our sex life

but you go on to say you had

either way op

he’s a cretin

Who's house do you live in for starters? Does he work?

you first posted about this shite relationship 4 years ago

Personally I’d leave, he has no respect for the relationship and he will cheat again. Yes there’s a baby involved but do you really want to live together with the constant dread of what he’s doing when he’s not at home? You deserve better than this.

Cheating would probably be a deal-breaker for me.

Visiting a brothel would absolutely be a deal-breaker for me as I consider prostitution VAW and I would not be with an abuser.

You're not married thankfully. Leave him. Doubt it's the first time too, he just got caught!

Looked at your older thread OP. You were having doubts about your relationship then and he didn't seem invested in your future together.

A real shame for you now you have your baby but there surely there can't be any coming back from this brothel visit? It won't be his first time paying for sex. Absolutely horrible disrespect for you when you are at home looking after his child while he pays for prostitutes on holiday abroad.

You know now what type of person he is and how little he respects you and your relationship. You wont be able to trust him going forward. Sorry OP but I'm sure your life will be much better without him.

Don't try so hard to have a baby with someone you are already having problems with. I hope you're the breadwinner/ homeowner otherwise you've been very foolish and not even by accident.

I don't believe in coincidences so don't believe this is the first time he's done that.

You can't trust him, OP. He'll scream and yell for 50:50 care if you leave but within a week he'll be a Disney dad, seeing his child for just a short time each week.

Get rid. I’d be repulsed.

Build a lovely life for you and DC. Raise him to know better than his appalling father.

💐

Get yourself an sti test, make plans to live without him, he's cheated on you.

He has shown you who he is OP, and that is someone who doesnt respect you and is an awful model for your baby.
If the property you live in is yours then ask him to leave, if not then do you have somewhere you could go with your baby?

Leave and get an STI test. Even if he didn’t go through with it (a lie) the fact he even thought he wanted to and wen tri do this is enough to leave for me

Make an exit plan, @Bubblebubble90. Don’t cling to a misogynistic pig of a cheater who views women as body parts to be bought and used for his gratification. If you hadn’t checked his location and rumbled him, he could have infected you with an STD. I hope you’ve been tested.

Besides having zero respect for you, he’s a despicable role model for your son and your daughter from a previous relationship.

You should want better for yourself and your children.

He might actually have been talked into it by his mate. Wrong I know but it is possible for a man to go to a brothel and refuse to participate although few on here would agree. Sheer curiousity might have got him there. The fact he told you is in his favour surely. Unless you already don’t trust him why do you assume he’s lying?

He didn't tell her.

He admitted to it only after she found out.

And that's only because there was undeniable proof.

Do you think being talked into it by a mate makes it better?
Surely that makes him even more of a loser? Makes his disrespect for his partner even worse if he's willing to cheat on her because his mate tells him to.

Jazz, any man who'd let his mates talk him into fucking a sex worker in a brothel is weak man with no respect of this partner.

Ohhh poor him his fweinds made him do it. Give over.

Leave. Your not married. Babys 8 months old. It wont be the first time hes been to one or similar, and it wont be the last. Trust has gone now. Ducks in a row, get a plan sorted. Good luck op x

That's very harsh