Update: I told his fiancée

[silverandyellow]

Hello,

I wanted to give a quick update and say thank you to everyone who took the time to comment on my now deleted thread (He has a fiancée and is getting married this summer).

After some reflection and hearing the different opinions from you all, I decided it was best to reach out to his fiancée and let her know so that she was aware of his infidelity. I don’t want to go into too much detail but she appreciated the honesty and now has the full picture.

Again, thank you all for your support and understanding. It’s been a journey, and I am thankful for the support of the Mumsnet community!

You may have changed the trajectory of her life, well done!

People will say you've done it for the wrong reasons but I fucking wish someone had told me, when I was in the fiancé's position.

Is he still getting married?

I remember your thread and you did the right thing. Well done.

Well done, OP. Whatever she decides to do about it, you have done the right thing.

You’ve done the right thing. She’s now got the information and it’s her call what she does with it.

Hope you feel better away from the drama

i remember your last thread. You and Lauren Goodman would make good friends. It won’t be you he walks down the aisle even if she leaves him.

Anyone who disagrees with this kind of thing, look them in the eye and just think to yourself ‘ahh. You’re that kind of person’.

You did the right thing and I hope you’re proud of yourself (in a good way!). It would have been easy for you to walk away and forget it.

I doubt she wants to walk down the aisle with him. What a weird comment.

I wish I had been told about my ex cheating ass prior to marrying him. It would have saved me so much heartache.

Your ex, well, he will most likely have been in this position so often he will have a grand old script to tell his fiance in order to safe face, marry her, and tell her you are crazy. These kind of people are soo good at story telling, all to fit into their narrative, safe face, and the funny thing is, they believe their own shit.

You and her are just pawns in his little game of egocentric needs. It has zero to do with love, it looks and feels like love, but its a reflection of learnt behavior, they do not know deep meaningful love for another. So count yourself lucy.

I wish someone had the balls to do this for my daughter so she wouldn't be having to go through a divorce only 4 years into a marriage to a cheating 🐂💩er of a bloke who has had a good go at ruining her life.

I have no idea

Why would she want to walk down the aisle with a cheating loser?

Good thing I’m not in the market for a cheating husband to father my children!

I'm sorry that happened to you.

While some might doubt my intentions, I too would want to know if I were in her position. I think she deserved to know the truth and then ultimately, it's up to her how she chooses to use the information

You done the right thing, well done

Doesn't matter: the point is she has the information and can choose as she wishes.

@silverandyellow

I read your other thread.

you've done the right thing & obviously compassionately. I hope she has the sense to walk away, but you've done your bit at least.

hopefully YOU can get over it all soon and move forward from it, don't waste too much time feeling sad & crap cx

Jeez…really!

You acted on behalf of all women, ensuring that she did not enter into a legal contract without full knowledge and consent of who this man was. It was the right thing to do, proud of you.

You’ve absolutely done the right thing OP.

Ah well done! I remember your thread, I couldn’t believe the amount of people who thought you shouldn’t say anything. Eye-opening and depressing. Good on you x

Judging by the bitchiness of your comment, I strongly feel that you and Lauren are far more suited than than the OP and Lauren!!! 😉 😉

Good for you OP! I would want to know if my DP was cheating especially before I even marry him. Of course it would be heartbreaking but I wouldn't want to marry someone that did that to me.

You done the right thing.