Partner moved himself in WITHOUT my say so

[Girlgamer]

So my partner moved himself in last night… he literally walked in with his bags packed and said he’s moving in. Made himself at home. I was shocked, because we’d not had the conversation yet about him moving in. He just invited himself in. He used to live at his parents. He’s moved into my own house/mortgaged and said he is happy to split the bills and pay his way. What do I do? Because I’m not sure I feel ready for him to move in, and I’m shocked that he’s just come on his own, saying it is a “surprise” for me…

His parents probably asked him to leave as they are fed up of him.
not your problem anymore. Your heart will heal and you will find someone much nicer

He "moved in" for less than 24 hours, of course he won't claim half her house!!

MN need to add a pop-up when people hit 'Post' that says 'Have you at least read all of the OP's updates?'

If he stays long enough he will. Send him home

Why not read the whole thread? She told him, "No".

I've already answered your other post.... HE'S GONE! HE WAS GONE WITHIN A DAY.
🙄

How did he react when you told him to leave? Did he try to talk you round and/or get nasty?

OMG, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Who the hell turns up to move in with someone without any discussion beforehand? The guy's batshit crazy! Good on you for not allowing it, who knows where it might end??

Well done Op, you sound well rid. Hope you are doing ok x

Send him back to his mummy!

Yes.. and can I ask that the App be able to show only the OP'S updates please 🙏
I haven't contributed, because there is no way I'm scrolling almost a thousand posts in search of the OP'S (and bookmarking often doesn't work either - even when 'watching' a thread 🤨)

If you click on that little filter icon top right, you can do exactly that on the app.

It was a long time ago, but I think he was just really shocked; obviously used to free-loading and didn't think it'd be a problem. I don't recall him being a problem about leaving, though. He might've tried to talk me around, I don't remember. Had literally only been seeing him a few weeks! The audacity!

The trash took itself out 👏 Fabulous outcome OP, you’re well rid

For your own peace of mind and safety,
get all the locks changed tomorrow. Or
fit bolts as an interim measure so you can sleep well.

I had a very similar situation years ago when I bought my flat and I adored my boyfriend but like you we never had "that conversation" but he was a bit more subtle than yours, he first moved in his stereo "for me" and stayed every weekend which was fine, then also some days midweek then more & more clothes arrived and he never moved back to his parents! It all happened so quickly! He then got made redundant & bought his own house, had an affair & f*cked off breaking my heart in the process! I know this doesn't help much or answer your question but my point is, think long and hard before you have that conversation with him until you know what outcome you would want. Good luck.

oh I've just seen you've told him to leave! Ignore all of the above then!

As much as you didn’t want the relationship to end this behaviour is a huge red flag! I genuinely think that further down the line you will reflect on this and see it as a lucky escape! Change the locks. Sending hugs 🫂

The problem here is that you're just making stuff up. There's nothing in the OP about "threatening to break off the relationship if she doesn’t let him stay". So stop accusing me of learning nothing. I know plenty. At least I can read!

Read the OP’s updates that’s exactly what has happened

Oh, the irony. Try using those reading skills on the OP's post that came up only 36 minutes before your original post.

I have a suggestion, go to the OP and click on the 3 little dots in the top right hand corner. Then click "see all". It will bring up all the OPs updates. You'll see clearly where she states that he threatened to break up with her if she doesn't let him stay. Then you'll see where she sent him packing.

OP had said exactly that a number of times, and in fact.... THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!

@capstix That's exactly what he did. So the relationship is over. Suggest you read ALL the OP's posts.

From OP’s 3rd post:

For context, he is 29 (almost 30) years old. We’ve exchanged a few texts and a call today and he has said he’ll be giving up on the relationship if he has to leave. I said I’m happy for us to continue dating, talk about things, and he can stop over the odd night like he’s currently been doing. But he said he’s had enough of stopping over and he’s ready to move in and if I’m not ready, then it’s done for him.

So yeah, I didn’t make anything up.

So apparently, you can’t read 😂😂

I think this must be one of Andrew tates manifesto points, something like 'if the woman won't obey you completely and immediately you must walk away and look for someone more subservient' 🤷🏻‍♀️
Andrew Tate (in his genius!) realises that the pool of truly subservient women is rapidly dwindling. Men who spend time trying to dominate and subdue a woman who isn't properly subservient might miss out on the ultimate goal of a woman who will obey completely and provide them with a slave for life 🤷🏻‍♀️