How to flirt... Newly divorced and clueless.

[hairtimer]

As it says, I'm newly single at 50. I cannot flirt for shit.

When talking to men I can or used to become quiet, shy and move back into the background when among friends.
I've done a lot of work and am now ready to move with some new found self belief and confidence.

With friends and family, I'm chatty, outgoing and some would say interesting and witty but I find that now when talking to men that I'm interested in, I talk to them like I do a friend or family member ie no flirting .

Please advise me. I know it may sound stupid but I do not have the skills.

Up to this point I would have described myself as avoiding eye contact, at times defensive and mildly sarcastic .. not open, chatty or friendly with new male
Company.
Thanks.

Eye contact. Don’t think flirt think friendly or else it will come across as desperate or weird.
I think a genuine interest is attractive- so being interested in peoples answers etc.
I believe that touching your face or hair indicates you are attracted to someone… could try that too?
Just be yourself, and don’t let your past hold you back…

Thanks so much!
I will be in some social situations during the next month and really want to try to flirt. It's waaaaay out of my comfort zone and I used to get embarrassed in case a man thought me desperate.
As I said, I've done a lot of work on myself and really want to
Almost train myself to be friendlier by making eye contact and not to be the one hiding in group situations.
It's a new thing for me and I'm
Nervous !!!

Don't focus on it too much, if you start chatting to someone you are genuinely interested in and find attractive you won't even notice the subtle things like touching your hair or face because you will do them subconsciously.

Have fun getting to know new people and becoming more comfortable, the flirting will come naturally. Trying to flirt will make you feel nervous and awkward. Trust yourself thar the instinct is there, it's just buried 💐

That's also great advice... focus on friendly and being interested in the other person and be my authentic self.
I guess my fear before now was that if they REALLY saw who I was , they wouldnt like the person I am so I put on a mask or avoided interaction generally.
Now I am happy and accepting and comfortable in my own skin so flaws and all,I'm ready to finally Come
Out of my shell at the ripe old age of fifty!

Here are my tips:

Imagine the most confident person who know. Then be that person in how you say things and your body language.

Smile and laugh appropriately, nod your head. Eye contact is important here.

Compliment the person you are speaking with. It doesn’t have to be gushy and over the top. For example ‘It sounds like you handled that well!’ Or ‘I can tell you workout - your hard work is paying off!’ This shows you are listening, engaged and/or observant. That makes the other party feel at ease which helps the flow.

Ask questions and remember what the other person says eg, if they say, “I’m off to ‘x’ place next week.” Next time you say them, say ‘Oh I remembered you said ‘x’ (this) tell me all about it!/I can’t wait to hear about it!’ Again this fosters a kind of intimacy through language, as does using ‘us/we’ if appropriate scattered into conversation if it comes up naturally and with relevance. Eg, “Look at us, stood here baking in the park! I‘m super thirsty. Shall we grab a drink?”

Hoping for lots of meaningful flirting coming your way!

I might get flame for this but nice underwear, comfortable clothing, good hair and skin always boost my confidence!

Do you mean flirting? It sounds as if you just mean being friendly (which men often interpret as flirting IME)

Such great advice and thank you.
I have a resting bitch face so I have to watch that but mostly I a smiler, so need to remember that 😂
I've thought about and visualised my most confident friend who is a man. He exudes happiness, interest in others and confidence so I'm going to try to emulate him when I'm out later... just to see how it works out.
I know him for twenty years and remember at first wondering if his kindness, niceness and sense of fun was an act !

I do mean flirting but in fairness I wasn't even friendly with men.. I was awkward and weird

I think your new you sounds perfect and fwiw I haven’t really ever been aware I would flirt, but I have to say I haven’t really ever been single for any significant period since my teens… so when I have been in a situation where I wanted to make a connection, it has happened. I am not a glamorous type at all- don’t wear makeup and not really a “girly” type… I think being a genuine person who is interested in getting to know someone is attractive to many. Good luck and enjoy

First, the obvious answer is you should be yourself. Just relax.

If you really want to flirt (because flirting is fun), I basically look at him and think, hmmm, would I like to be naked with you? And eye contact, because I'm wondering if he wants to be naked with me.

Different than being friendly.

Just be yourself - thats what you want people to like about you, the real you. Who cares if you have RBF, when you are happy you probably simile so go with that. Be relaxed, smile a bit, and just engage in conversation!