Some advice please

[susannah32]

hi,

I am going through quite a traumatic break up. We are still living in the same house which we bought a year ago. We are sleeping in the same bed, hug, have been intimate very recently etc. He said that he loves me very much as a friend but not in that way any more. Do I take this as face value? I guess I do? Its confusing because we are doing so much of what was missing at the end of our relationship.

It's hardly a break up if you're sleeping in the same bed and being intimate! Blurred lines there!

Be careful. Sounds like you could get very hurt if you allow this non relationship relationship to continue. Think you need to take back some control and decide what YOU want rather than let him dither about and use you when he is in the mood.

I want him back of course. He is adamant he doesn't want it but then we are doing all the things that you do in a relationship. It's so confusing.

I'm sorry but he's using you.
He says he doesn't want to be with you , what's the plan ?
Selling the house ? One of you buying the other one out ?
Have either of you got somewhere else to stay ?
Move out of the bedroom at least ( or he can as it's him who's ending things ).

OK well id be saying to him if he doesn't want to be with me he moves out the bedroom. All sex kissing etc stops now. You're giving him exactly what he wants even though you're heartbroken, he's being a dick and just using you until he finds a replacement.

Go full freeze out on him. He wants all the physical stuff but doesnt want to be in a relationship wit you any more? Doesnt compute.

Hi,

We are selling the house. It's so hard.

He’s sleeping with you because it’s an easy shag.

Get some self respect and make him move in to another bedroom or even on the sofa!

Hes told you he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you….so believe him.

He’s having his cake and eating it. Hes told you the relationship over but he’s still getting regular sex while the house sale goes through.

Hes using you as a warm body to shag - the longer you facilitate him, the more you’re going to get hurt.

Move out of the bedroom and no more sex. Sleeping with him is not going to suddenly make him change his mind.