i been married for 17 years and have 3 kids.
my sister in law was my best friend, shes married to her first cousin which makes it my OH cousin too.
yeah married a family member.
het hudband has started texting me 4 years ago but i have warned him i will tell the family what his doing if he dont stop but he claimed he cant stop because his always really liked me and finding it hard to stop. well i couldnt block him, his wife is my bff and at times she would ring me off his phone or my OH would use my phone to ring him. we was very close as couples, our kids are best friends as they have 2 kids. i was afraid to tell my OH or my bff because it would have turned out really bad as my husband can get violent and let me tell you it wouldnt have ended well so i kept my mouth shut, my curiosity to text him back to know why his doing this had led to small convos eventually leading to longer conversations. he said his always fancied the hell out of me and even though he said he loved his wife he still wanted to speak to me and spend time with me (as couples).
It became an addiction and before u know it we spoke everyday on texting and facetime when OH was at work.
i felt guilty and scared but addicted at the same time. i didnt know what to do.
We fell in love, tried to break it off so many times i would find myself going crazy without him and so did he, his depression & insanity when i would try to leave him led to his wife getting suspicious because he could no longer hide his feelings for me infront of everyone, to he was kind, caring respectful about me and put me first.
we both became withdrawn from our OHs completely the more we spoke and all we wanted to do is spend time together and go out together as long as hr was around me he was ok, (going out as families together with our OHs and kids)
we became so madly in love we cant function without each other. we had mutual respect, laughter, share many interests and dreams etc.
something i have never experienced with my OH and neither did he with his OH’s.
his wife has grown more and more suspicious of his actions around me and around her when they was home alone. he wasnt himself when not around me and i felt the same although my husband isnt a big talker and our lack of communication in out relationship he didnt bring anything up to me about feeling suspicious so i thought he would never find out.
Our only dream and wish in this life was to 1 day end up being together when our children grow up, as i dont plan of abandoning my kids for a man even though i loved him i have put my kids first.
his wife became so suspicious she started to spy on him and eventually 4 years later she caught him texting me with a hey and a hey back.
and that is the day everones life has changed.
my OH and best friend was left devastated, i havent seen her since and we’ve not spoke again.i went home to my mother for the night so my OH can process his feelings and he took me back the next day and willing to forgive me and rebuild our trust, and same thing happened to him.
Now my marriage of 17 hasnt been the happiest, i understand its life and things cant always be happy and perfect with a cherry on top. My OH has always shut me down emotionally, put his cousins before me in terms of going out to eat or generally hanging out. going out with him would often end in anger, shouting at waitresses whoch always led to embarrassment. his not a very social person, we dont have much in common and he enjoys getting stoned. i could write a list but long story short, i understand thats not an excuse to cheat and nobody deserves to feel second best, but i also never really did feel attracted to my OH physically and sexually.
alot of people will say leave if unhappy but theres 3 kids involved.
its been 2 months since contact with my lover and i cant see a future without him in my life, ive never felt so lost in my entire life and he feels the same reports from other family members.
He said he will wait for me until im ready until the day he dies,
2 days ago i have left my husband and came to stay with my mother because i dont know if i can do this, if i can fix this marrage knowing that im in love with another man, i cant see myself sleeping in the same bed as my OH anymore, i have the 2 kids with me and he has 1, the kids seem ok for now but my middle son is the most affected by the break up and its not fair.
i just dont know what to do, go back to OH and fix my marrage for the sake of kids or stay seperated for a while and get back with the love of my life? i have had contact with him a few times during the revelation of the situation and he said he only went back to his wife if he hears i went back to my OH and is still willing to wait for me.
im lost on what to do, obviously my kids feelings come first before mine, but how can i live a lie with my husband??!!!! we completely have no connection whatsoever i dont think i can ever get over this and rebuild my marrage with him when it hasnt really been the same. i feel depressed lost and confused, because OH has never really been a good husband or a friend to me from the start, things are now worse between us we completely stopped communicating we only communicate when we snapping at each other and i feel like i can never be myself around him anymore