Orgasm and (peri) menopause? Please help

[CaramelMacchiatto]

I'm 47 and until very recently been lucky enough to be able to reach orgasm by having penetrative sex with DH. Then suddenly, a few months ago, I stopped being able to.

Didn't want to put too much pressure on myself (and him) and thought maybe it's just a phase, will pass, but no.

Then read recently then hormonal changes during menopause might affect that. Thing is, I'm not aware of any menopausal symptoms yet. Speaking to my mum I know she started menopause when she was in her early 50s so I might still have a few years to go.

But I miss orgasms reached that way and would like to know if they are likely to come back...

Has anyone got any knowledge/ similar experience?

Thank you 😊

OB Yes, is very orgssmic lube, available in boots. Might help.

Not sure if that will sort it out. Tried a lubricant already.

I've begun having this exact problem in the last few months too, OP! Unfortunately, I've found that penetrative sex doesn't = orgasms in any way anymore. Now we have to have lots of foreplay to make sure I do. I have found the lack of orgasms worse when I'm due on.

I found it nearly impossible to orgasm when I was peri. HRT has improved it but I’m still less consistent than I used to be.

OP, is it jusr from penetration that things are not working? Can you bring yourself to orgasm still, perhaps with a vibey? Do you climax from oral?

Yes, all these other ways still work.

Thanks so much to the others who shared their experiences. So I might be peri then... Really strange as, apart from this, I cannot notice any other symptoms at all... I was hoping someone would be able to say it comes back 😟

Are you ladies saying that after menopause we might loose the ability to climax completely??

I do think peri makes orgasms harder to have and less good in general.

Why is there no viagra for women?

You probably need HRT - especially vaginal oestrogen. It’s not just for hot flushes etc, it helps keep our bodies in check.

Sadly none of us escape menopause entirely - this is a symptom and it could be that you’re dealing with some vaginal / genital area symptoms now.

Then your fella has to make effort alongside penetrative sex if you can get there alone.
Yes it can be harder to climax as get older but no its not impossible ..its not doom and gloom. Worrying about it wont help. Im 52...takes longer but its not elusive. This is more about technique needing to be adjusted rather than anything else

Yes, the clitoris actually starts to shrink during peri menopause, along with other vaginal changes, atrophy etc. HRT would be a good choice for many reasons. I've found it harder and harder to orgasm and i can rarely get there these days.☹️

Thanks ladies. It's so sad and can't believe it just happened virtually overnight. I'm not sure if my GP would prescribe HRT as I have no other symptoms... Clearly some hormonal changes are happening though. Thinking about it , my emotions are all over the place as well. Not sure if it's that as I've always been that way really but it's definitely getting worse. I can get from from super happy to being down in the matter of minutes... Plus can't getting angry without being able to control it as well. I thought it's just recent stress but maybe there's more to it.

Good to know this is normal - thanks for sharing 💙

Agree with all of the above. I also keep wondering whether pelvic floor exercises would help but am useless at remembering to do them.

That's interesting about the clitoris shrinking. Makes a lot of sense.

I was thinking that could be part of it.

I recently got one of those perifit things. Really helps in doing the exercises .

Stress won't help either even if the stress thing has passed the stress lingers. Also high blood pressure can effect orgasms.

But it could be hormones your other symptoms sound like it.

Peei and menopause affected my ability to orgasm...but it's getting better. So there's hope!

Vagifem and vaginal oestrogen cream helped.

Might be worth having a good look at the long list of symptoms. It was amazing how many I had without realising that was the cause. Dry eyes, hair thinning, vaginal dryness were my first symptoms I think.

I'm not sure if my GP would prescribe HRT as I have no other symptoms... Clearly some hormonal changes are happening

just to be clear OP topical HRT for vaginal issues is different to systemic HRT. Ovestin, vagifem are topical HRT and are only applied to vulva/vagina and won’t go into the rest of your system. You can buy it iver the counter if your GP won’t prescribe but honestly there’s no reason why they wouldn’t

systemic HRT - gels, patches etc affect the whole body and are a different thing

I use both but you could use just the topical HRT if you have no other symptoms :)

The clitoris shrinks annoyingly. It's why it took them so long to realise how big it is as they were doing autopsies on elderly women.

I've heard using machines like a womenizer to keep the blood going can slow it down though, something that sucks.

I am probably not a cltty expert having only been the careful owner of one 😀! Albeit a well pampered one. But l have read that frequent and regular stimulation helps prevent shrinkage as we age.

Whether this is true or not, l really don’t know, but l’m going to have a lovely time doing my bit for prevention, just in case.

Well you could count yourself as lucky you've been able to get an O from piv sex, as many women can't ever. Strangely, the other way around in my case, as wasn't until late 30's/early 40's that it started happening all the time. In 50's now, was fine last year but not road-tested it lately due to being single and busy with other issues.

It's certainly not the case for me as been with DH for years and having sex regularly 😟

Have you thought of getting your thyroid checked? It's another possibility given this symptom and the on/off sadness. Look up underactive thyroid.

I experienced difficulty orgasming for a while too. I am on HRT but testosterone is what resolved it for me. I got it prescribed via superdrug then asked if my GP would prescribe it and she said yes. Orgasms are still slightly less easy than when I was younger, but by no means a problem. Weirdly I now come from penetrative sex in the right position as easily as from clitoral stimulation. Not every time, but then I never have come every time.

I was 45 when menopause started for me.

Thanks all for the very informative comments. I'm thinking about booking an appointment with a menopause specialist at my surgery.

One thing that actually popped to my mind recently is that this issue started, pretty much, at the same time when me and DH introduced some toys into our bedroom. Nothing too complicated, just a cock ring stimulating clitoris and a rabbit . We used them a few times and had an amazing time both. Then I noticed my issue with the orgasms. Just wonder if it's just a coincidence? Or is it peri? Really confused now...