But he’s lovely!

[offononeagain]

Have any of you divorced a basically decent man after many years of marriage? Why?

I’m considering it. Mine is lovely and kind, will do anything for me. But he drinks a bottle of wine every night, tells little lies, thinks it’s none of my business how much credit card debt he’s got, sleeps all day if he can, did nothing about his erection problems. So in reality he’s not that great.

Because he was workshy and lazy!

That’s really not lovely! You need to raise your bar.

Stopped fancying him basically. All romantic feelings disappeared over the years and it was just like living with a flat mate

I'm sure lots of people thought my kids' dad was 'lovely'. Because whenever people came round he'd do all those things that he KNEW he ought to be doing day to day - helping with the kids, washing up, tidying up after himself. When it was just me and him he didn't lift a finger. I was a SAHM so I had to do everything. All he had to do was get up and go to work, apparently.

But it was the way he'd pull the stops out to be helpful when anyone was watching that did it for me. It showed that he knew that he should be helping, he just didn't want to.