I’m just newly divorced from an abusive marriage, and a while ago met up with my first boyfriend, who was in the midst of separating. It was intense, he was very loving and talked about how amazing it was to reconnect, about how right it felt.
We started seeing each other and it made me feel very happy, the familiarity and affection. However, as his break solidified and he got used to his new lifestyle, he grew harder in his emotions, less open, and in the end said he didn’t have headspace for a relationship of any kind, and then my friend saw him on a dating app.
Obviously we’ve ended things a while ago — I let them peter out without giving him the upper hand in any way. I didn’t understand at first, but now I can see I was just kind of used at the start of his midlife crisis. Now he lives alone and wants to shag people from the internet. I am sad at the thought this will probably include some of my friends who are on the apps, even.
I just don’t know how something I thought was magical turned out to be so grubby. And from an old friend who knew my circumstances too. I feel abused again.