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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What would you do ? Dv /contact related

4 replies

4thebest · 08/06/2024 22:14

Dd ex attacked her about a month ago .

There has been talk about supervised contact . With his mother supervising.

Dd ex's mum was in a DV relationship herself. She did report it but then dropped charges. And started seeing him again. Her partner beat her up regularly and also beat his son up (dd ex) .and now the son has gone on to become violent.

Am I horrible to think that maybe his mum is not the best person to supervise?

In the past when dd ex has been nasty to her verbally his mum has been supportive to dd. She would say kind things to her and say things like what's he's doing is not ok. But im not sure it was genuine support. I feel like it was just saying the right words.

Her ex has also been lying to people about what happend. When people ask dd about it she then tells them the truth . And his mum asked her if she can keep things private because her son is really hurting.

There was brief contact with social services due to merlin report. At first they said there could be supervised contact. Them a few days later dd contacted them to tell them about her ex mental health issues. Social worker then said as Dd has now told her about his mental issues he now can't see baby until he's got help for his issues .

I am a bit worried that dd will let his mum see baby on her own. And them she will take the baby to see her son.

OP posts:
4thebest · 08/06/2024 23:03

.

OP posts:
Beautifulbythebay · 08/06/2024 23:05

Just suggest a contact centre...

StrawberryWater · 08/06/2024 23:17

So SS have advised no contact with the father until he gets help for his issues?

Has he gotten help that can be proved and documented?

If the answer is no then she shouldn't be thinking about any sort of contact supervised or otherwise. She should listen to SS.

As for this man's mother. She is NOT your DDs friend. She will only be on the side of her son. Also, it's not your DDs responsibility to facilitate a relationship between her children and her exes family. She should just block them all.

4thebest · 08/06/2024 23:31

StrawberryWater · 08/06/2024 23:17

So SS have advised no contact with the father until he gets help for his issues?

Has he gotten help that can be proved and documented?

If the answer is no then she shouldn't be thinking about any sort of contact supervised or otherwise. She should listen to SS.

As for this man's mother. She is NOT your DDs friend. She will only be on the side of her son. Also, it's not your DDs responsibility to facilitate a relationship between her children and her exes family. She should just block them all.

Thank you . This is what I think to.

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