Does he love me? Bereavement

[GEK1983]

Hey all,

Would you be upset if you were in a long distance relationship (an hour flight, both in uk) and you have a relative who is dying, not an immediate relative but someone you're close to, you're breaking your heart and your partner who says they love you is there for you over the phone but didn't come over to see you? He has a respectable job with responsibility and some health issues that he's awaiting treatment for (nothing that would stop him coming over but his treatment due to take place in next 2 weeks). What would you make of it? I'm breaking my heart over here.

I wonder if he is thinking he should come to look after you after your relative has died? He presumably has limited time off, plus the treatment you mention, so may just be looking at how he can best support you bearing in mind these constraints. He may also not want to get in the way whilst you're caring for your relative?

I think if you would like to see him I would say so. I wouldn't take him not visiting in person straight away as evidence that he doesn't care.

People grieve differently. Personally I would want to be left alone and given space to grieve.
Maybe he doesn’t know which way you lean.

No I wouldn't expect him to come.

I am sorry you find yourself in this sad situation - surely this is a time for close family. Are there members of your family you can be with?

No I wouldn't expect him to come and stay with you for someone who wasn't immediate family. Do you have family you can lean on?

No , I would not expect him to come especially if it is not immediate family. Sounds like he has enough going on as it is.

No I wouldn’t expect a visit. I don’t know many men who would visit in this situation unless you asked.