Online dating and asking for sexy pics

[SealMermaid]

Thought I would come here to ask for some of your wise words…
Met a guy online last week, we’ve been texting everyday since we matched, we now moved to WhatsApp…I may have started some flirty convo about lingerie…now he wants pics and dirty talk…I feel like I’ve now ruined any chances of us meeting as he’s only thinking about this and doesn’t take me serious now.
what do I do?
I’ve already got one who I would describe as my penpal…we voice note all day every day, and have phone sex, I’ve realised he’s got no actual interest in meeting up with me and think that’s because of the relationship we’ve developed over the phone.
how do I avoid getting into this situation again and politely refuse to send underwear pics.
all sounds a little bit jumbled! Sorry!

I wouldn't be starting flirty conversations about lingerie tbh!

Just block and move on from this one if he's asking for pics.

You avoid it by not mentioning sex and blocking guys who do.

Do you even want to be having phone sex with that bloke?

Just block the one asking for sexy pics. You don't have to be polite about it!

You don't need to be particularly polite.

If you want to keep talking to him just say something like "yeah, got bit carried away there - not going to be sending that sort of pic". If he gets stroppy, so be it, that's good information about him and time to block.

If you don't want to keep talking, just ghost him or whatever.

You sound like you've got a bit of a habit of getting into the sexual stuff instead of actually meeting and having a date - why do you think you're doing that?

How long have you been chatting to him? If you don't want a penpal, suggest a meeting. And say no to sexy pics, especially before even meeting him. And with regards to your penpal... do you want one? Have you videocalled or I guess you know it could be anyone otherwise.

Send those pictures if you are happy he will send them to all his mates and that is all you will ever get from him.

move on quickly if it turns into a pen pal/phone sex situation-no suggestion of a meet up after a couple of weeks ditch & move on. Otherwise you send up spending a lot of time & energy on these dead end situations.

Yes, I do like my pen pal and quite happy to keep it that way. He’s fun and we have great chats via voice notes/video call.

We’ve been chatting about a week…I was waiting for him to ask…he has hinted but not asked yet. I was going to suggest something next weekend if he didn’t ask.

I personally think if a date isn’t suggested within a few days to a week then it isn’t going to go anywhere. You generally know if you like someone quite quickly… all of the long chat should be in person. And surely there shouldn’t be sex talk before you’ve even met? Unless that’s all you want of course… if it isn’t what you want, don’t do it.

Sounds like he's enjoying the relief and convenience of phone sex and not really into you?

Just say no. Some men can be entitled and creepy so I think ghosting is the safest thing for women to do in this situation. Block and move on and don't give them any further explanations for them to try and latch on to.

It depends what you’re looking for really but in my experience men who turn the chat sexual very quickly before you’ve even met are either looking for easy no strings sex and testing the water with who responds. Must women looking for a relationship or dating shut them down when they start straightaway.

Or else he’s got no intention of meeting and wants photos for his wank bank. And as a PP said those photos will be shared with the his mates.

If you’re looking for more than a hook up then don’t get dragged into sex talk with random strangers online is my advice.

Probably lesson learned to keep it clean and light until you meet. No judgement, you've just seen that some men are just after titillation.

This one, what did he say exactly? Just returned your flirtation e.g. 'ooh tell me more/ let's see!', or actually seriously turned the conversation sexual?

If light hearted, you could possibly get it back on track by saying "haha no pics! How was your Sunday?' and changing the subject.

As a rule I wouldn't give chances to those desperate to get straight onto sex, they've shown their priorities, but in this case, depending what was actually said, you did actually start it so could try and pull it back.

Must women looking for a relationship or dating shut them down when they start straightaway.

but in this instance it was the OP who started the sex talk, so kinda her own fault really 🤷🏻

What is that? A mushroom?
Is this a cooking thread?

Depends what you want. If you want sex chat pen pals then carry on.

If you want a relationship then chat for a bit on the app, arrange a coffee and see how it goes.

Don't send nudes unless you don't care where they end up.

Deleted

Don't explain anything OP. Just cut both men off in a flash.

Going forward don't engage in too much phone conversation unless there's an actual plan to meet up. Also make it clear what you both want and if its not a match don't just continue.

To avoid this in future don’t start sexy chat with strange men online.

You don’t have to be polite about refusing to send sexy pictures to strange men. As a rule if they ask for this they aren’t interested in anything serious with you.

In future, don’t chat for long. Ask if they want to meet for a coffee. If they make excuses move on.