AIBU to find this irritating?

[loveyoutothemoon]

No issues with boyfriend of 18 months. Sometimes this bothers me, sometimes not. Fairly regularly makes noises or comments about my arse including when out and about when bending over, and several times a week telling me what he's going to do in the shower. I can't explain why this irritates me but it does.

Have you told him you don't appreciate it?

No. Just find it a bit childish!

If you don't tell him you don't like the comments he's not going to know. Perhaps he thinks you enjoy the comments. Why don't you have a conversation with him about it?

Sorry, I’m nosy - what’s he going to do in the shower?

I get that. Would it bother you if it was a lot, or would you take it as a compliment?

that would bother me as well. and no we should not have to tell a man that a comment what he is going to do in the shower etc is just ick.

And you are dammed it you do, and dammed if you dont.

if you tell him he will use it against you somehow, and if you dont you will be seething every time he mentions or goes into the shower.

It depends what he says really doesn't it? And how he says it.If he is being very crude and especially if he's saying explicit stuff when you are out and about I expect it might be embarrassing. But really it's down to how YOU feel about it.

What do you mean use it against me?
It's not crude stuff just admiring and I want to be admired but it sometimes happens at random times, like it's irrelevant to what I'm doing.

If you don't tend to shower together, you can take what he says with a pinch of salt. Your BF has a filter issue, it seems he finds your bum an attractive feature, this is probably not unusual for men, but while most think it, they know not to say it, as it is crass in the wrong place and time. Tell him to keep his comments for the bedroom, in everyday life it's off-putting.

Imo he’s not admiring you op. He’s objectifying you for his own pleasure. That’s why it’s icky and uncomfortable. There is nothing about mutual appreciation or closeness there. He sounds like a grubby perv to me.

When we're out my DP regularly makes saucy remarks about my bum. And I love it!

Hahaha, what a load of shite! I've read some ridiculous interpretations on MN over the years but that has to be in the top 3! 😂😂

You are only 18 months in. It is likely he genuinely fancies you and is turned on by you, in all situations. This is the honeymoon phase, right? Obviously he is not a mind reader. Bring it up gently and share how you feel. Why exactly are you irritated? Would you rather he never complimented you when you are out?

It's not crude stuff just admiring and I want to be admired but it sometimes happens at random times, like it's irrelevant to what I'm doing.

I think everyone here has interpreted it as crude comments, but you're saying it's not? So he's paying you a compliment, but your issue is that it's not when you want him too? I think that's a bit harsh really, like he's supposed to be a mind reader Nd know when you're expecting a compliment. Damned if he does compliment you, damned if he doesn't.

It's not crude but also not a compliment as such. It's like I'll be doing or talking about something serious and he'll be right up behind me making noises.

😂😂😂

😬 What sort of 'noises'? 🧐

Noises as in sex noises or fart noises. I had a bf who used to make a fart noise is anyone bent over and thought he was hysterical. He didn’t last long.