is there a way to increase my libido?

[garlicandsapphires]

I'm 40 and don't think perimenopausal. No children (fertility issues - that's probably part of the problem) My sex drive has vanished in the last few years. I'd be happy if I never had sex again, but I want to want to, for DP.

I am a bit overweight which doesn't help but otherwise healthy.

Is there anything I can do?

Highly recommend you listen to this talk by Karen Gurney, author of ‘mind the gap’s really enlightening discussions about sex drive / desire

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=krA8-_iXptE

I enjoyed that. Very interesting. Thank you

Have more sex. Do you enjoy it once you get started? The more you do it, the more you want it. I don't tend to sit around thinking 'oh I'm horny' but will be more than happy to have sex. Just need a bit of a warm up!

DH and I have a weekly, scheduled 'maintenance shag' which sounds unsexy but actually takes the pressure off of one of us having to suggest it. We both know when it's happening and it means we do it at least once a week. Sometimes I'm well up for it and others I have to get myself in the mood by reading a bit of erotica beforehand!

Sorry just realised that wasn’t the full version, I meant to post this one. It’s long but worth it!

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3FiBFliXrHbOuIp3s6dFSj?si=mGVKIkuYTZCJBfqYarKhmA&nd=1&utm_medium=organic&_branch_referrer=H4sIAAAAAAAAA72NSwrCMABET5MuW2ykC6FIq0RrFy4UsW4kzcfGpknMZ%2BHtTQWvIMximMdjBu%2BNW2WZM9oL%2Fk6xMakUaszWxmoaiC%2B1YSoB%2BZIHKe%2FBynKYFQArkKOYGac%2Fm%2BgpTswIpymLDSJRIymudt8fQ2OgKyg6PQFETgC4nXaXthlDd75tDjV%2Fddi2w1R9v7CUPSbjP%2F5AXiga6SLhDPtgWantAytBPj%2FFtpgbAQAA&product=open&%24full_url=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Fepisode%2F3FiBFliXrHbOuIp3s6dFSj%3Fsi%3DmGVKIkuYTZCJBfqYarKhmA&feature=organic&_branch_match_id=1296784753171879703

Testosterone gel is meant to help but that's usually for menopausal/ peri menopausal

Sex is like chocolate. The more you eat the more you want. If I have a dry spell I ensure I masterbate and that usually helps get things going again. I spent a year following baby two concerned about complete loss of interest in sex but now I'm back to having the occasional sleep orgasm 😅and erotic dreams.

Testosterone gel if you’re menopausal

Ginseng is good for libido. Maybe try some supplements

I find that a bit of fantasy chat during which time we describe the location and what is going to happen does it for me any time.

All the joy of making love on an exotic beach as the sun is sinking into the sea ... without any sand in places where sand inevitably get if you were actually there.

Bliss. And part of the experience for both of us.

Chat about fantasies and go for it

What's the rest of your relationship with him like?

Do you have fun together, do you make each other feel good, do you still kiss and cuddle?

Do you find him attractive? When you were having sex, was it enjoyable?