Dating. How long before going to his home?

[Footyfandango]

Doing OLD, had the usual ups and downs that go with it.
Would value the responses, especially from others who are OLD
How many dates, how long before you would go to his home, or let him visit yours

Depends. Last one I went to his house first date because he can't drive (blind.) Current one we ended up at mine first date - but I don't have any children. I'd be more wary if I did and probably wait much longer. But there have been others where I've been in a pub or cafe with them and got a vibe where I wouldn't want a second date, nor for them to know my address.

@EBearhug apologies I forgot to say my children have all left home so it's just me living alone. Thanks for your response. Maybe I am being over cautious

There is no set time, do what feels comfortable for you.
Definitely have some dates out in the open and see how you feel about him.
To start with always give his address to a trusted friend and get them to do a check in with you.

You cannot be too careful nowadays.

Come and join us on the Dating Thread where we are all supportive and helpful.

DP came here on our third date (had something planned close to my home) and fourth date. Fifth date I went to his house (texting several different people his address!). That’s what felt right for us.

No earlier than 3rd date and I would still meet them out on that date.

These days, probably 6th or 7th.

I would definitely say, if you're not comfortable with it, don't do it. If they are not happy for you to share their address to your friends, don't do it.

For us, about two and a half hours.

Went to his home for date 4 but had first 3 in public and plenty of comfortable chat in the meantime.

My last relationship it was about 4 weeks before I went to his and then another couple before he came to mine.

Not sure I’d take as long if I met someone now but I’d definitely want at least 4/6 dates in public places before I felt comfortable enough to go to their home, probably a little longer to invite them to know where I live.

While some have ended up at home on the first date, I aimed for 3rd or 4th date though in the end if in liked them and felt more of a connection than sex. Not about decorum or anything, just gave things a chance to develop and something to look forward to. Obv having kids at home or for me, them living very remotely might make things different. main thing is you feel comfortable and not pushed into it or made to feel 'frigid' as though with a teenage boy for wanting to wait. Any of that, forget it.

First date if I felt comfortable after meeting them in a public place

Definitely not the first date, it would be a while as I wouldn't want them getting into the habit of making no effort and thinking they can just come over to mine/ me go to theirs, I have children though so wouldn't be coming to mine for many months.

I met my now DP OLD, we had our first date in our hometown but I live quite a long way out of town and could not get a taxi for hours! He lives walking distance from town centre so he offered in a gentlemanly way for us to go to his and wait for taxi there instead of in the rain. We did click instantly and he was a total gentleman so I didn't feel at all concerned. I've been on first dates with other guys where I would rather walk the 7 miles home in the rain than go to their place though. I would say meet in public first, see how you feel.

Thank you all, plenty of food for thought in your responses
@SortingItOut thanks I will wander over to the dating thread