Pregnant by man ive recently started seeing

[Zarahlovesthebeach]

This evening I took a pregnancy test , it was positive! I'm in shock! my friend made me take another one, that was positive too. I was about 9 days late, however I recently started hrt I am perimenopausal so thought theres no way I'm preg! I wont say my age as it may give me away, however my eldest is 19 , I had her quite young , I also have 2 other children , one about to become a teen and the other in last year of primary school... basically my baby days are over!!!
I have been seeing a man for a couple of months, weve been using condoms... how on earth has this happened!! And ontop of that I'm pretty sure our fling or whatever we had is over now as he hasnt been in contact & it feels like its sizzling out , which is fine by me, but does leave me in a tricky situation ... do I tell him or not?

Depends if you're keeping it . If you're sure you're not and it's fizzled out anyway, I wouldn't see the point.

tell him what ?

that you are pregnant

that you are pregnant and having his baby

that you are pregnant and having an abortion

I think if you plan to go ahead with the pregnancy then yes. If not, personally I wouldn’t bother unless I thought I might need his emotional support.

@Pippa12 that's exactly my thinking, he doesn't need to know if I'm not going to go through with it does he? Or is this morally wrong? Not to tell him

If you're keeping the baby, yes .. tell him, of course.
If you're not keeping it then probably not. It's not necessary if it's fizzled/fizzling out.
I wouldn't mention a word until you're sure though

I dont think I will be going ahead with it

Then no. He does not need to know.

If you don't think you will keep the pregnancy, then I wouldn't tell him - what will it achieve ?

It could potentially make the whole thing worse, he could be angry, he could be weeping and wailing on your doorstep etc.

If you aren't keeping it there is no point him knowing. He might just start accusing you of trying to manipulate him or something.
The information will help nobody at all in any way.

Good luck OP, it sounds like you've made up your mind. I don't think you need to tell him as I'm worried he will confuse you in your decision or act badly. Take care x

It’s up to you but if it was me I would be having a termination and not telling him at all. In perimenopause many women have a last hurrah fertility wise so it happens more than you would think.

Since you are planning to have an abortion then no.

I wouldn't tell him.

Why would it be morally wrong not to tell him about a medical procedure you're having? It's none of his business.

Revise your family planning options too!!

Are you still seeing him at some points or has contact dropped completely? If contact has completely stopped and you're never going to see him again then he probably won't show any interest unless you tell him anyway. Sizzling out rather than sizzled out suggests contact isn't completely finished yet?

Medical procedure? Nice...

Could the tests be wrong due to the HRT? See your GP.

I wouldn't tell him if you're going to have an abortion. Theres not much to be gained from him knowing that information.

No need to tell him if you’re going to have an abortion.

Most medical procedures aren't very nice but I'm not really sure what your point is...

If you're not fussed about him and he's not fussed about you, keep it quiet, abort without telling him.

If he dumps you like a dick, tell him you're pregnant, tell him you're keeping it, abort anyway, and let him suffer for nine months.

It’s what it is, you may not like it, but it’s factual.

I wouldn’t tell him OP, what’s the point?

If you're having an abortion and no longer have a relationship its not something he needs to he told. If you were going through with the pregnancy then unless you or the baby would be in danger the right thing to do would be to tell him. Whilst this is a pregnancy it's your body. your choice and you don't owe him knowledge of that.