Given a choice, I wonder whether a lot of women would prefer to live on their ‘own’ whilst remaining in a relationship?

[BigButtons]

Many of my friends ( marriages/ long term relationships now over) won’t countenance living with a partner again. They are happy to be in relationships but don’t want to share a house on a full time basis.
just wondering whether lots of women feel this way?

This is exactly me, noise just follows DP, not helped by the fact his workshop is attached to the kitchen and opens onto the part of the garden my bedroom over looks. His hearing is getting worse so music and tv is getting louder, and he talks to himself all the time.
He thinks im joking when I say if I win the lottery I'd buy the house we currently rent and build him a big workshop with attached flat at the back of the plot and myself and DD live in the bungalow

Yup that’s what I have. DP stays 4 nights a week which is lovely, I have weekends to myself to see family and friends. It’s exactly the setup I want. He would like to move in but I’ve told him that’s not going to happen. . We’ve been together 5 years and we never argue. That would change if he moved in, I know it. What’s the point? Also, I’m richer than him so there’s no way I would jeopardise my DC’s inheritance by cohabiting.

My dad recently got remarried (at the age of 77) and he and his new wife live in seperate homes but spend 3-4 nights a week together in one or the other's home.

For lots of different reasons, it wasn't practical for either of them to sell their houses plus both have health issues and they didn't fancy the huge upheaval of selling two properties and finding somewhere new.

It really works for them and they enjoy the mini adventure of travelling between homes (about 30 miles apart) each week. It's not for everyone but they like it!

@BigButtons

Do you think it was just conditioning that made you think that living together was as the next step even though what you have was already meeting your needs?

Yep, 100%. I'm with DP 2 years and we've both said, we've no interest in living together.
We're in pur 50s, have our own homes and teenage kids.
I think its the best of both worlds. I still get excited about getting ready for a date and look forward to seeing him.
Can't imagine why we'd live together as we don't have to financially or want to raise kids together

@blueandgoldmug

i hope he has changed his will as marriage invalidates previous ones.

I can totally see the appeal. If I ever get into a relationship again, I’d do it.

Me and my single friends have had this chat and absolutely without exception we all say we would never live with a man again.

We’re all 50+ had our years of being wives and mothers and for the first time in decades have peace and space to put ourselves first and don’t want that disturbed.

Yes- some sort of fantasy I guess. When I was with ex dh and all the kids (6 of them) we had a huge house. He slept on another floor. He was also abusive in so many ways. I lived with him for 13 years.
i suppose I am hankering after a ‘normal’ set up with a decent man.
reading all the posts on here I can see that ‘normal’ isa just a societal pressure and one also born out of financial necessity. I will give my head a wobble.

Yes definitely, I've tried and tried to convince DH of the value of this idea, especially when the kids were younger and I was really struggling to manage doing everything. I don't want to get divorced just not have to sleep in the same bed and clean up his mess and organize his life. Maybe we could have more fun together again. Obviously he's less keen as I do 90% of the housework and childcare. If I won the lottery separate houses would definitely be the first purchase.

My ideal would be a long-term committed, monogamous relationship (not a FWB set-up) but living apart.

I own my own home and love the fact that it's all mine to do with as I want. I love having some evenings where after work I can just slob on the sofa with the dog, a glass of wine and shit telly and not have to make conversation with anyone. I love the fact that my house is permanently clean and tidy and it's easy to keep that way because I'm not picking up and cleaning after someone else.

The only negatives of arrangements like this are the several times a week travelling between houses and if staying with them constantly living out of hold-alls. My ex could never understand why this was such a problem and why I might want to be able to keep a few bits and pieces at his house (toiletry bag, spare make-up bag, a few spare undies) to make life easier. However, he was cheating so he probably just didn't want any/many signs of me around the house.

I wouldn’t like to live with a man again. I know not all men are like this but I am shaped by my experience of them being untidy and never cleaning/tidying up after themselves.

Definitely this...!

The overiding theme here is that women want to live alone because of the domestic chores men put on them! I can only agree.

100% agree with this. No way do I want to live with a man again.

Many years of marriage and now single for 7 years. I wake up every morning and thank god that I'm alone ! All the stresses just disappeared and our house (with the children) is calm, happy and peaceful.
NEVER would I live with a man again!

I absolutely love living with my DH, life is better when he’s home.

If anything happened to him I couldn’t imagine ever living with anyone else though.

I live alone, with older teens too. Much easier. Never say never but no inclination to live with someone, I didn't have it when I was married!

It would depend on the man I'm potentially living with.

I wouldn't want to live on my own if the choice was live on my own or with my DH. I love living with him, on the whole things are fairly shared and we both have time for hobbies away from each other and DC.

If the choice was live on my own or live with a husband who left the lion's share of the housework to me and interrupted me reading a book because he needed to ask where the scissors were and "couldn't" manage the DC whilst I did my hobby, and generally bugged me all the time like a teenager, then I'd 100% prefer living alone.

Yep, been single a while and I cannot ever imagine allowing a man to live with me.

I love my home and being able to do what the fuck I want.

Me and partner have our own places, works brilliantly. He still works I'm early retired. Weekends he's at mine or I'm at his. Would never move in together.

This, but with staff. We're going to need staff to look after the communal areas as I'm not doing it!

Absolutley.

No, because my husband is actually useful. I would miss the regular intimacy, cooked meals and the extra pair of hands to sort out the domestic stuff/life admin.

i can’t relate to the filthy, noisy, disorganised slobs listed on this thread.

If we get divorced and my DC have grown up- I probably wouldn’t want to take the risk in living with a man though. But it wouldn’t be my idea set up.

On my own with 2 teen DC and always said 'never again'.. I met someone just over a year ago and I'm not wavering, as such - I love my own space, the peace and quiet and the fact my house is my DC's sanctuary (their Dad is awful!).

I think whilst my DC are at home - or at least under 18 - I'll push to stay separate but I don't know... helps my bf is house-proud, cooks, good with money and has a decent career, enjoys his independent hobbies and we have an incredible sex life. He also has 2 DC to consider, similar ages.

So for now, it works and I like the stories on this thread (plus, he does snore - loudly!) Hmmm - maybe the status quo is the way forward after all!