Given a choice, I wonder whether a lot of women would prefer to live on their ‘own’ whilst remaining in a relationship?

[BigButtons]

Many of my friends ( marriages/ long term relationships now over) won’t countenance living with a partner again. They are happy to be in relationships but don’t want to share a house on a full time basis.
just wondering whether lots of women feel this way?

I plan to, much as I love my DP (if I’m widowed)

I’ve always been inspired by how Frida Kahlo and her husband Diego lived in two houses with a bridge between!

Count me in that group! If something were to happen to my DH, I’d never cohabit with a man again.

I have a few friends who are married, but live separately! They socialize with their husbands and have intimate relations, but don’t commingle finances or households. They are all older of course and no young children involved. They love their lifestyle!

I would absolutely do this...husband may need some convincing 🤣

Going to try to have a Frida-Diego arrangement once DH retires.

I've been married nearly 25 years and don't mind living with him, he annoys me with some things but on the whole he's OK to live with but if I was ever in another relationship I would never live with anyone else again.

32 years now living separately but in a very happy relationship. No kids either side. I (and he) wouldn't have it any other way.

I have my house in the city, his a bit more rural but just 35 minutes drive away. Best of both worlds for each of us. We stay with each other each week (alternating houses) but we both have time apart to do our own thing. That means that when together the humdrum of daily life is not a feature, nor are our hobbies which can take over the house, etc. We look forward to seeing each other and talking and doing things together. I know it sounds twee and a bit flowery, but it's true.

Yes, we are fortunate, yes we love the arrangement, yes we are financially secure enough to afford to live separately, and yes we don't have children to think about.

If it's good enough for Charles and Camilla, it's bloody good enough for me!

This is so interesting, that there are so many who would prefer to live alone- I am one of them. I wonder if this is a thing men feel these days as well or is just women who are sick of doing it all and enjoy the freedom.

DH and I are fairly independent of each other. We have separate bedrooms, each work, and often do different things in the evenings. But I enjoy getting home and having a cup of tea together, then later we'll have dinner and watch TV. We've also learned how to work well together on things like house maintenance etc. Now that DD is at college, I like having someone around to chat to.

But I'm not sure i'd go through the whole learning to live together effort if I were single and met somebody new.

@Meadowfinch yep- and I would also add in I get fed up being asked 'are you ok' if I'm quiet or having to kind of 'ask permission' if I want to do something at night outside the home (and that's either no children left at home) -

There are already the same responses before me but:

• Not wanting to lose equity / share a home that you have worked hard for
• Previous spouse or partner was absolutely useless and don’t want the hassle of cleaning up after another man child
• Sick of cleaning dried piss from underneath the toilet seat
• Don’t want to share the bed, bathroom, toilet, kitchen, television etc
• Bedroom looks fabulous without the Clothes Chair

No plans to share my home, l think it's hard to go back to that way of life once you've
got used to your own space and way of doing things. It's a very peaceful way to live if you can afford it.

I live on my own and am dying to live with DP. I guess I am just not a solitary creature! Having said that, more recently I've began to enjoy living alone just a tiny bit. I'd still much prefer to share my life with someone though.

You can share your life with someone without having to live with them! No jocks, socks, clothes on the chair of doom, bristles in the sink, pee on the toilet seat, man flu, Xbox oblivion, and "where are you going" stuff.

It makes sense if it is far more economical to live in the same place for sure, but if that is not a feature, separate places are highly recommended IMV!

I'm doing this with children. My ex was a nasty, abusive drunk. I met a wonderful man a few months later and we have been together since. We have two children together but I live in my house and he lives on his farm. We see each other daily. It works for us. Many people, mainly our friends and family can't understand it but each to their own.

@bunhead1979 i told DH I had a brilliant idea, separate homes, and he was horrified 😂 He’d hate not living together. Honestly, I do like my time with him, but he definitely wouldn’t be replaced!

This is me! I'm 48, divorced, and I will NEVER live with a man again. All hard work and drudgery and no fun IME. At least if you live separately you can keep some romance alive!

This is something I'm struggling with. We're early 50s. I'd love to live together but it's not something we can do at the moment because I have kids and I wasn't ready to join up. I'd love to get married and feel like a proper couple. I'm constantly thinking about this at the moment. I hate travelling to his but the perk is the privacy. I want someone to share my life. I can see from these posts that we might not have to live together to do this but I feel sad inside like we'll never have the good parts of that .

Yes I want this. I’m very open about it on first dates too. I won’t be having anymore children so I’m happy to spend time together, but keep our respective homes for ourselves.

Honestly yes I’d love that.

My partner and I have separate homes. We see each other/stay on the weekends. It gives us the time we need. No arguments about the house or bedrooms for each others children. I enjoy being the king of my castle.
It works for us.

I wish this had been an option for me and DP.

If finances allowed it, I'd sign up.

It woud be interesting to know how many men would like to live separately from their female partners... I am guessing not as many as the other way around (but totally guessing).

I think I have a unicorn! My DH does 90% of our washing, folding, putting clothes away. He’s rubbish at dusting so he’s maybe not a unicorn 🦄

I am quite social and would hate to live alone, I love having my DH here and kids. I think I might be a minority from this thread though

It's the way forward especially when you're a bit older/divorced etc.
I like my bed to myself, I am intolerant of snoring as getting a good night sleep hard enough as it is. I like watching my stuff on telly, I like eating my food and I dont want to think about another person all the time. Hard enough with two teens to run around after.
We have amazing weekends when we are together and fun and sex and all that but don't want it all the time !

I appear to have a unicorn in that Dh never asks me where I am going and is tidier than me. He does snore, though. And watch way too much TV.