Given a choice, I wonder whether a lot of women would prefer to live on their ‘own’ whilst remaining in a relationship?

[BigButtons]

Many of my friends ( marriages/ long term relationships now over) won’t countenance living with a partner again. They are happy to be in relationships but don’t want to share a house on a full time basis.
just wondering whether lots of women feel this way?

Makes sense if no kids!

I definitely would.

Been married for decades and I fantasise about living on my own. I think it's since covid - we both switched to permanently wfh and it's just too much but neither of us can (or wish to) change jobs at this stage of life.

Yep. Been single a few years now and I would never live with a man again. I love my own peace and space.

If I did meet someone, dating and living apart is the only way forward for me.

I agree. Been single since beginning of 2023 and my life is so much more peaceful! Have children. He cheated, so moved out, but I now have a cleaner more organised house and I'm not constantly resentful and angry as I was as he did nothing! I can't imagine living with another man. It's just another person to look after!

I have this relationship - both previously married, both in our 50s. We have separate homes and spend 4 nights a week together - 2 at his then 2 at mine. And yes, it is perfect. Together very happily 8 years. I never want to get caught up in that mental load shit again. I don’t wash his socks and he doesn’t empty my bins (well, sometimes, but it not expected).

Yep. I think about this a lot. I love DH and I enjoy his company over meals, films, holidays etc. but living with him sends me to the edge. He snores and when he works away or sleeps in the spare room my sleep is blissful. My room is tidy and clean, the house is tidy and clean, and I feel
relaxed and happy and calm. Noise follows him, radio, music, heavy handedness, whereas I am a quiet, soft person who likes peace and silence. He has got worse in all these regards as he’s getting older, admittedly I am too, but in the other direction.

I literally covet the idea of him living next door in his own mess and noise.

And I dread the day he retires.

my DM feels exactly the same about her DP too, as does my oldest friend!

Yes! After a 20 year marriage I’m now with a new partner who I love very much but I need my space. We see each other most weekends and once or twice in the week but I like the remaining time to see friends or mostly just be by myself.

I also don’t want to ruin what we have - I like looking forward to seeing him and having fun together, not arguing about paying the bills (would never mix finances again anyway) or whose turn it is to put the bins out. I like my home (which I bought and pay for myself) just how I want it, I don’t want to compromise to someone else’s taste but I wouldn’t expect him to just go along with my way.

I’m not sure He gets it though - he respects my wishes but I know he’d rather have more time together and would definitely like to live together one day.

It’s a solid trend. Been a few articles in the newspaper if you Google.

Most women pick up most of the chores through their life for the whole family and the last thing they want to do is take on all that for a new male older partner.

If you’re lucky enough to be set free of it all, why would you change it?

Of course the men on the other hand just want the women to move in…. And are quite upset when they won’t! I wonder why that could be… no one to do their washing!

Yes, been a single parent most of my life and as my kids are now growing up (some left the nest) I can’t imagine a guy moving in. Happy to date but want my own space and routine.

I would 100% live on my own.

Hell yes. I have no intention of living with anyone other than my kids.

I much prefer being single. Life is calmer without all the drama and incompetence. I've never been happier. Men are overrated, I'd rather have a dog.

Sounds amazing, I would love some of the scenarios posted above. I dream of my own place, space, and a friend with benefits perhaps.

The only way I would consider a relationship would be if we lived apart. (And even then I don't know if I could be bothered.)

I definitely would.

I'm married but we have separate bedrooms, that will have to do for now!

There are two very happily married couples in my friendship group who live separately too.

Yes. Been married over 25 years. I love DH and enjoy his company but am sick to death of hanging up towels, cleaning bits out the sink, and just generally running around picking up everything all the time. I would love to live alone but keep him as a boyfriend!

Interesting.
i own my own home and have 2 teens living here. My oh also owns his own home( in the same town). We see each other a few times a week. I kind of wanted us to eventually live together ( together 5 years now). He has finally admitted that he needs his own space. I was initially gutted, but I also need and value mine. The reality of living with him would drive me batty and I love the days when I don’t see him as much as the days when I do.

People only seem to cohabit for cost reasons- they are content in their own household .

Yup my auntie said her best relationship (post children being adults) was because they both were independent and lived alone. Interestingly though she did ask him to move in once kids were moved out and she felt confident he wasn't a dick after 10 years together etc. He said no thanks he liked living independently. Fine they carried on. He then got ill and said oh I'll move in now so you can help and look after me. She said no thanks you can't just expect me to be your carer for the rest of my life because it suits you now. I completely admire her and it's defo something I'd think about if I ever get divorce and move on etc!

Yes I think they would. Myself and my partner live apart and so many of my female friends have said in my situation (both have children from other relationships, I'm financially comfortable on my own) they would absolutely live separately too. My partner lives in the next village. It suits me perfectly. Not him so much, he constantly tries to edge his way into living me. Nope. Love my own company/space/peace far too much. I adore the bones of the man, but I can do that perfectly well from another house. Hate the domestic and financial burden that seems to follow men around.

Yes! I always thought this was such a dumb idea when I saw this on the SATC movie, until I got married 😆

I am extremely jealous of those of you doing this.

I would love to be independent of dh and live alone. He doesn’t seem to be listening though!

I would be very keen on having seperate wings of the same house with my DH. A shared drive, garden, dining room, snug and utility. Then our own kitchens, bathrooms, bedroom, studies and living rooms.
It is finances that stop that.

I definitely wouldn't.

I've lived alone for ten years now. I cannot put a value on my peace and solitude in that respect, and consequently I will never give it up.